The one that really made the cops laugh was when I said I dated a cops daughter.
They both turned around while driving. They said, you dated a cops daughter? Looked at each other started Laughing.
I said I know right? I never been pulled over so many times, it was like every time I left her house.
They drove me home.
When I was in high school I lived down the street from the chief of police.
His daughter was my age.
Mediocre looking redhead, nice ass though.
She didn't live with her dad, she lived with her mom in town. We were in an unincorporated subdivision outside of town.
She had no f*ing clue how to flirt.
I was mowing the lawn one day and she drove past, stopped and looked at me for a minute, then went & parked her car at her dad's house and walked back & just stood there staring at me all creepy like Michael Myers in the Halloween movies.
I shut off the mower and walked over there and she was trying to get me to go hang out with her in her dad's house while he was home. I didn't even know her. I mean I knew who she was from school and from seeing her in her dad's driveway, and the fact she has the same last name as him but that was it.
Back story:
About a month before that, my motorcycle broke down and as I was pushing it home, 2 little boys about 8 or 9 years old started tagging along riding circles around me on their bikes, asking questions about the motorcycle, etc.
As we were going past the police chief's house, one of the kids kicked over his empty trash can, and he was out in his yard raking up grass.
He acted like a kid kicking over an EMPTY trash can was a huge deal, then he said it's my fault because the kids were "with me" and therefore I'm supposed to be "in charge" and that I'm responsible for what they do.
I told him I don't even know the kids and he kept running his mouth so I told him to shut the **** up and kept on walking.
So naturally there ain't no way in hell I'm going to hang out with his daughter, especially not in his house.
I pretty much told her that while I have nothing against her personally, I don't want anything to do with her because she's the police chief's daughter.
She started crying and said she's 17 years old and never had a boyfriend and probably never will because of her dad, and all I could think of to tell her was to get on the internet and hook up with guys from Joliet or somewhere they don't know her, and don't tell them her dad's a cop.
That didn't seem to help but she left me alone.
Like 2 hours later, her dad was in my driveway in his personal vehicle yelling at me to stay the hell away from his daughter.
He simply saw her talking to me in the street in front of my house.
I told him what I told her. Also told him that she was whining that not a single boy in school would talk to her because her dad's the chief of police.
He yelled "GOOD" and threw his car in reverse and left a little bit of rubber on the driveway, then floored it back to his house.
F*in prick.
cbs58.com
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www.cushyfamily.com
