Duck Pond Redneckery


It ain't funny.

One time when I was about 8 years old, we took a family road trip to my grandma's in S/W Missouri... 450 miles. In a Chevette..

And my dad not only OBEYED the 55 mph national speed limit but he played Leon Redbone tapes THE WHOLE F*ING WAY THERE. All 3 of us were complaining. Even my mom. But he wouldn't turn it off. It was HORRIBLE.

I still have PTSD from that road trip. :(

 
It's either that station which plays good stuff about 30% of the time, or the other stations which are all country, rap, mexican, or non-stop yakking. And they suck 100% of the time.



The Geezer wants me to put satellite TV and wi-fi in the workshop.

View attachment 42079

It's a workshop. Not a "sit around in your underwear scratching your nuts and watching boring people talk about how to make the most efficient wind turbine blade" shop.


I'm in the workshop right now.

You know what the old man is doing??

He's out in the middle of the f*ing field with a 25 foot pole and the airspeed indicator from one of his planes, studying the difference between wind speed at ground level and 25 feet up. I asked him why, but instead of explaining, he spent about ten minutes talking about kites.

:dunno:
I'm telling you Geezer is a reality show waiting to happen.

I know I would watch.
 
I'm telling you Geezer is a reality show waiting to happen.

I know I would watch.
Did I ever tell y'all about the time he strapped the front wheel of his recumbent bicycle to the top of the trunk on his Goldwing and towed it to Tennessee? :D

There's a picture somewhere.. Probably on one of my old hard drives.
 
Geezer went garbage picking.

Some dumbass painted over stained glass for some reason.

View attachment 42063

View attachment 42059

No idea what the Geezer wants to do with them but he's tying up my drill and two of my saw horses and I'm trying to make awnings/shutters for the shed. :mad:

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I think he just likes them because of the freemason logo hidden in the design.

Now that a first class find.....really classy.
 
No. Now I just chew nicorette gum non-stop, all day. Every freakin' day. :(
So, you are addicted to the nicotine in the gum. Still better than smoking:thumbsup:

The guy I work with had the same thing happen when he quit smoking and then one day, he just gave up the nicorette gum and now he just chews a lot of regular gum.
 
So, you are addicted to the nicotine in the gum. Still better than smoking:thumbsup:

The guy I work with had the same thing happen when he quit smoking and then one day, he just gave up the nicorette gum and now he just chews a lot of regular gum.
My neighbor quit smoking 23 years ago and he still chews the gum.

That yellow stuff though. Juicy fruit, whatever it's called.

I like the nicorette gum because it's thicker. It's like chewing on silly putty except instead of tasting like plastic, it tastes like gasoline, which is better.

Don't act like you've never chewed on silly putty. :mad:
 
Latest project. I rebuilt exactly half of this shed.

20171015_180355.webp

OK maybe a third of it, if you include the roof and the fascia.

My phone wanted me to say "fascist".

The half that I did was just vinyl screens all the way to the ground but the dogs tore them up years ago. That half was completely useless because birds would nest in the middle in the ceiling and shit all over anything below it.

I washed & bleached the cement, then built the short walls. The ugly things on the sides are shutters that tilt out to double as awnings. Translucent barn siding on a wood frame. They swing outwards at the bottom with three homemade hinges with offset pivots. And there's mesh screen behind them to keep birds out when they're open.

I made these doors and the latches.

20171015_180449.webp

One door pins shut at the top and bottom, and the other door latches to that one.

They're 1x4s on the inside, 1x6s on the outside, held together with liquid nails and 10-24 screws with lock nuts, with fender washers. I did it that way because of how time has nearly destroyed the old barn doors that were made that way with planks and nails.

The door to the milk house was falling apart. Wood too soft to hold screws or nails. That was like ten years ago. I replaced all of it's rusted and missing nails with 10-24's and fender washers and it's still rock solid a decade later.

The shed doors are done that way from the git-go, also glued, then 2 coats of primer and 3 coats of paint. Oil based. They should last 100 years. :thumbsup:

I do have plans to repaint the rest of it. Maybe next year. Gotta get some really good primer though. Shellac or something.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Latest project. I rebuilt exactly half of this shed.

View attachment 42181

OK maybe a third of it, if you include the roof and the fascia.

My phone wanted me to say "fascist".

The half that I did was just vinyl screens all the way to the ground but the dogs tore them up years ago. That half was completely useless because birds would nest in the middle in the ceiling and **** all over anything below it.

I washed & bleached the cement, then built the short walls. The ugly things on the sides are shutters that tilt out to double as awnings. Translucent barn siding on a wood frame. They swing outwards at the bottom with three homemade hinges with offset pivots. And there's mesh screen behind them to keep birds out when they're open.

I made these doors and the latches.

View attachment 42182

One door pins shut at the top and bottom, and the other door latches to that one.

They're 1x4s on the inside, 1x6s on the outside, held together with liquid nails and 10-24 screws with lock nuts, with fender washers. I did it that way because of how time has nearly destroyed the old barn doors that were made that way with planks and nails.

The door to the milk house was falling apart. Wood too soft to hold screws or nails. That was like ten years ago. I replaced all of it's rusted and missing nails with 10-24's and fender washers and it's still rock solid a decade later.

The shed doors are done that way from the git-go, also glued, then 2 coats of primer and 3 coats of paint. Oil based. They should last 100 years. :thumbsup:

I do have plans to repaint the rest of it. Maybe next year. Gotta get some really good primer though. Shellac or something.


Classy as in original....Right down awesome.
 
Bottom one
Trick question.

Both of them.

The skinnier piece was corner trim that fell off and has been lying on cement for who knows how long. Probably a year.

The wider board is a piece of wall siding from the north side and has been lying in the dirt for I have no idea how long but I'm speculating about 6 months.

Both were run through the planer to clean them up.

I think next spring I'll pull all the siding off the east barn, pull out the nails and shave them down with the planer and put them back up and paint them. The surfaces are too porous to paint. It'll be like a sponge, and take a gallon per square foot or something.
 

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