Quack 20

[Duck]

Granny can't climb stairs. Not well anyway. Takes all day. Standard procedure here is to drive up the hill into the back yard & stop by the back porch.

Took her to get groceries yesterday. When I was putting groceries away, I got preoccupied because she suddenly got it into her head that everything in my aunt's fridge was old & spoiled & needed thrown away, but that's not the case. Had to get The Geezer to call her & distract her while I put the groceries away.

In the meantime, it started raining.

Dirt + rain = mud. Maybe I'll write that down so I won't forget.

First pic shows the grade & explains why driving to the back yard eliminates the need for Grammaw to climb steps.









I really am glad I had the dealer install those custom mud flaps. If my car got muddy, it would just be terrible!!



It was working good until the tires slipped off the 2x6. Now it's hopelessly stuck. I got the floor jack out of the trunk & was going to jack the wheels up & shove the plywood under it til I realized that the car will just slide sideways if I did that.

Ain't no ropes, chains, cables, winches or anything like that around here. I'm either stuck til I call a wrecker tomorrow (nobody's open on Sunday) or wait til my aunt gets home & takes me to Lowe's to get a couple hunnerd feet of rope & a cable ratchet, .... and some grass seed.

 

[Duck]

5 more pictures. I have nothing better to do than take pictures.

 

[Tim]

Kitty litter. Lots of kitty litter.

 

[Injun]

Hope you have enough cigraettes...

 

[Duck]

Kitty litter. Lots of kitty litter.

Can't go into town to get any. If I could get into town I'd just go buy a large quantity of heavy rope & a cable ratchet.

My worthless cousin lives in that double-wide and her fat worthless ass is home, but I'd rather remain stuck here than ask her worthless ass for a ride into town.

 

[hatchettxx]

Where did ya find the tags that change lettering on em, I want some. LOL

 

[Tim]

From your photos I dont see anything close that you could tie a rope off of other then the tree and that looks to far away.

If it gets below freezing tonight you might be able to drive it out in the morning before sunrise.

 

[Duck]

Where did ya find the tags that change lettering on em, I want some. LOL

I invented them myself. I just push a button on the center console & they change. I haven't paid a toll in years.

From your photos I dont see anything close that you could tie a rope off of other then the tree and that looks to far away.

Nah. There's a small tree & some bushes located in the best spot for pulling my front end the way it needs to go, but where in the hell to attach it to on the front of the car... nowhere. Behind the car, not too far maybe 30 feet, is the anchor for the guy wires that hold that telephone pole. But I grabbed it with my hand & it wiggles too much. I don't want to loosen the dirt around it. My cousin's deck posts look stable but I don't want to winch off of them. There are bushes in front that could be used. Otherwise it's gonna be about 100 feet or so to the nearest tree, unless I get one of those mobile home anchor augers. I could simply attach a rope/hook to my right front corner just to hold the front end from sliding when I jack it up so I can put the plywood back under the wheel though. I'm thinking if I nail a 2x4 along the edge of those plywood scraps it'll keep the tire from sliding off again. The car gets good enough traction to move, even in the mud, if it was on level ground. The problem is I have to step on the gas too much just because of the grade. I know for a fact my ATV would pull it back to the gravel if I had it here. But it's 500 miles away, parked in the barn next to my tractor and my milk crates full of chains. Damn thing pulled an 11,000 lb motor home in the grass once with Mrs. Duck's fat brothers sitting on the racks.

If it gets below freezing tonight you might be able to drive it out in the morning before sunrise.

Weather forecast calls for a low of 25 tonight I think.

 

[Tazz]

I agree with @Tim get up around sunrise 30 and drive out.

 

[Duck]

I need some liquid nitrogen to spray on the ground. Then I won't have to wait til morning.

I'm a go look in the garage for some liquid nitrogen. I don't think my uncle has any but it's worth a look.

 

[ezrollin]

how do you keep water out of the garage? any floods?
funny, I remember creating a thread about watching out for soft ground 2 months ago... guess it doesn't help you. hindsight is a bitch

 

[Tazz]

The clay around here is like a friggin sponge, it swells up and gets real soft when it rains. My yard has tracks right now from my mower.

By tomorrow afternoon he would have been fine.

Garages have crushed rock base under most of them to allow for the swelling and pooling that happens around here.

 

[8978]

Might be easier to fill out a change of address.

 

[Injun]

Why not just use worthless ass cousin's car to give yours a little tug?

 

[Duck]

Why not just use worthless *** cousin's car to give yours a little tug?

Because I don't want her help. If she had a freakin' tow truck sitting there with a winch & 300 feet of cable, I still wouldn't ask for her help.

Well it's first light & 31 degrees here. Time to go get the car even more stuck than it already is. Actually if the ground still feels squishy when I walk up to it, I'm not gonna touch it.

 

[Duck]

From your photos I dont see anything close that you could tie a rope off of other then the tree and that looks to far away.

If it gets below freezing tonight you might be able to drive it out in the morning before sunrise.

I agree with Tim get up around sunrise 30 and drive out.

Didn't work.

But my aunt's minivan has returned.

My cousin got extremely drunk somewhere last week (when she had to work in the morning) & somebody drove her home. In the morning she got up to go to work & had no memory of the night before & thought her car was stolen because it wasn't here. So she borrowed her mom's van to go to work. When somebody told her where her car was, she went there with the van & left the van there.

Last night she took her 15 yr old daughter there (who has a permit, no license yet) and had her drive the van home. So now that's here.

I just walked it off toe-to-heel and it was 101 feet to the tree I want to winch off of. After trying to see if the car would move, now it's 102 feet. So I'm gonna go get 120 feet of 1" hemp rope or something and a cable ratchet & get to work on it.

The tree I need to use is located on the far side of my worthless cousin's car. I know what's gonna happen. She's gonna have a fit because I'll have to put the car in park & let some slack in the rope before she can get her car out, delaying her departure to work by a whole three minutes.

 

[Tim]

I just walked it off toe-to-heel and it was 101 feet to the tree I want to winch off of. After trying to see if the car would move, now it's 102 feet. So I'm gonna go get 120 feet of 1" hemp rope or something and a cable ratchet & get to work on it.

Hemp rope?
You do realize a wrecker would be cheaper dont ya?
Wear your safety glasses.

 

[Duck]

Hemp rope?
You do realize a weaker would be cheaper dont ya?
Wear your safety glasses.

I'm talking about the brown stuff, ... the stuff that will rot if you leave it out in the weather. Not that poly crap. Doesn't matter though because they don't have it at Lowe's, which is the only home improvement store in town. I'm looking at 1/4" cable as being a better option, .. rated for 1400 lbs. That should be plenty, even for a dead-pull with the car in neutral. After I get the cable ratchet (commonly mistaken for a come-along) I'll probably end up spending more than I would if I just called a wrecker. But real men don't need wreckers. Ever. Not unless there's a female driver to blame it on. (Then it's ok) And going with this option, afterwards I end up with a cable ratchet & 120 feet of cable.

 

[Duck]

Better option, .... I just typed "Columbia TN farm supply" into Google and there are two of them in town. Tractor Supply and "Columbia Farm Supply". Better options for finding rope or cable there. I'm not even gonna look at their websites. I'm just gonna see if Granny went back to sleep & if she did, I'm outta here.

(should probably write down directions first ....)

 

[DubbleD]

Call AAA. 120 feet of 1" hemp is gonna be spendy.