Quack 20
- Thread starter Duck
- Start date
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
That's what I'll do if I end up losing my seat. I'm not gonna sit on the floor all night with stupid little fleabag shi tzus slobbering on me.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
I went to bed around midnight on the 24th. Woke up 5 hours later & couldn't get back to sleep so I says screw this I'm just gonna head out. Drank an excessive amount of coffee, grabbed my laptop & threw some clothes in a rubbery plastic bucket thing, put it in the car, topped off the air in the tires & headed out.
Drove no more than 9 miles before the road turned white. Why is it that I only get a white Christmas the one year I have to make a road trip in a car with slightly overinflated tires?
Stopped at @blackw900's house on the way here. That's one scary place to be. He has an entire room full of medieval torture devices but he just refers to them as "antiques". He says the modern stuff is in the shed out back.
The walls in the entire house are painted blood red (at least he said it was just paint... 
) and all the decor is Gothic style, except for one stone pillar in the corner with a feather duster on top. He said it's for when @Tim is over. 
At my aunt's house out in the sticks instead of my grandma's. I washed (warshed) the car at a car wash on the way through town to get all the salt off of it. This morning I gave up trying to get my tub full of clothes & stuff out of it because all 4 of the doors are frozen shut. The sun will thaw it out soon I suppose.
Granny is doing a LOT better actually. My aunt & cousin told me she hadn't improved, but they see her frequently enough I just think they didn't notice. She's not 100% and still repeats the same stories over & over, .. word for word even, .. but other than that she seems normal.
She even remembered to ask for her medicine & when one of the 4 pills was invisible in her hand because it's a clear transparent gelcap, she said there's supposed to be 4.
But she did tell me that this is her daughter's house a few minutes ago. That's good to know, .. cuz I'd been wondering whose house it was I drove 550 miles to get to yesterday.
Drove no more than 9 miles before the road turned white. Why is it that I only get a white Christmas the one year I have to make a road trip in a car with slightly overinflated tires?
Stopped at @blackw900's house on the way here. That's one scary place to be. He has an entire room full of medieval torture devices but he just refers to them as "antiques". He says the modern stuff is in the shed out back.
The walls in the entire house are painted blood red (at least he said it was just paint... ) and all the decor is Gothic style, except for one stone pillar in the corner with a feather duster on top. He said it's for when @Tim is over. At my aunt's house out in the sticks instead of my grandma's. I washed (warshed) the car at a car wash on the way through town to get all the salt off of it. This morning I gave up trying to get my tub full of clothes & stuff out of it because all 4 of the doors are frozen shut. The sun will thaw it out soon I suppose.
Granny is doing a LOT better actually. My aunt & cousin told me she hadn't improved, but they see her frequently enough I just think they didn't notice. She's not 100% and still repeats the same stories over & over, .. word for word even, .. but other than that she seems normal.
She even remembered to ask for her medicine & when one of the 4 pills was invisible in her hand because it's a clear transparent gelcap, she said there's supposed to be 4.
But she did tell me that this is her daughter's house a few minutes ago. That's good to know, .. cuz I'd been wondering whose house it was I drove 550 miles to get to yesterday.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
Last night my cousin & I noticed coloring books & crayons on the bed in the room my aunt set up for my grandma. We asked her & she said "the girls left it there". Pretty sure that the girls she was referring to, my cousin's two 16 yr old daughters, weren't coloring with crayons in there.
This morning she got up & made a cup of some kinda flavored coffee or something but later I noticed she had gone back to sleep so I went to the grocery store. Got back & checked on her & she'd gotten up & dressed but she's sitting on the bed coloring with crayons.
One of those 16 yr old girls came over. They live with their worthless mom in the double-wide out back but they come over here to eat cuz their worthless mom won't feed them & get internet access for their phones. She asked what her great grandma was up to & I said she was coloring with crayons. She said "what? I gotta see this". She went in there & asked what she was doing & I heard my grandma say "You didn't color all the pages in when you were a little girl so I'm doing it".
This morning she got up & made a cup of some kinda flavored coffee or something but later I noticed she had gone back to sleep so I went to the grocery store. Got back & checked on her & she'd gotten up & dressed but she's sitting on the bed coloring with crayons.
One of those 16 yr old girls came over. They live with their worthless mom in the double-wide out back but they come over here to eat cuz their worthless mom won't feed them & get internet access for their phones. She asked what her great grandma was up to & I said she was coloring with crayons. She said "what? I gotta see this". She went in there & asked what she was doing & I heard my grandma say "You didn't color all the pages in when you were a little girl so I'm doing it".
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
My aunt's cat knocks on the window when it wants back in.
I was just sitting in a recliner next to the living room watching TV & all of a sudden there was a knock at the window. I figured it might be one of my cousin's kids or something so I looked through the blinds and all I see is this black thing sitting on the window sill & a pair of glowing yellow eyes looking at me. F'in creepy. LMAO.
The other cat poops on the kitchen floor because it's too stupid to use the litter box. I hate cats.
I was just sitting in a recliner next to the living room watching TV & all of a sudden there was a knock at the window. I figured it might be one of my cousin's kids or something so I looked through the blinds and all I see is this black thing sitting on the window sill & a pair of glowing yellow eyes looking at me. F'in creepy. LMAO.
The other cat poops on the kitchen floor because it's too stupid to use the litter box. I hate cats.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
If I did, they'd never come over here to see their grandma, and their great-grandma.
Yup, never thought about that.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
Grandma (in kitchen, making noise): "that's an awwwwful mess"
(I was in living room. I assumed maybe one of my aunt's cats **** on the floor again so I went in there right as Grandma was moving towards the refrigerator)
Grandma: "There's an awful mess in there"
Me: "Where?"
Grandma: "in that tall skinny box over there" (pointing at the trash can)
Me: "In the garbage?"
Grandma, mis-heard me: "It's full of garbage"
I looked in the garbage. It was about half full.
Me: "That's the garbage can. It's supposed to have garbage in it".
Grandma: "There's an awwwful mess in there. I need to clean that out & put all that stuff in the garbage"
Me: It already is in the garbage, that's the garbage can".
Grandma: "Oh is it really? Oh my Lord, ha ha... I didn't know it was the garbage can, ha ha ha..."
About 10 minutes earlier:
Geezer via text message: "I want to talk to Mom on the phone, answer it when I call & give her the phone".
Grandma (on phone with my dad): Do you know (Duck)? He's been here with me while Janell's on vacation. Janell's been gone a long time but she should be home pretty soon. We just got back from..... what was that?.... You are??? He is?? Really??? ..... Well I'll be.... Oh my Lord....... Well, ... heavens to Betsy..."
After she got off the phone she came into the living room & said "I didn't know you were my grandson! Ha ha... I just thought you were somebody Janell sent over from church, ... did you know you were my grandson?"
Me: "Yeah"
Grandma: "You did? Well how long did you know that?"
Me: "About 34 years now I think"
Grandma: "Ha ha, .. I didn't recognize you".
Just now as I've been typing this:
Grandma: "Do you know my daughter Janell?"
Me: "Yes. She'll be here tomorrow"
Grandma: "Oh, she will be?"
Me: "Yeah"
Grandma: "This is her house. I have my own house in town but I can't live there any more. I fell & hit my head & now I have a hard time remembering stuff"
Me: "Yes, I already know"
Grandma: "Do you know about how far it is to my house?"
Me: "About 10 miles"
Grandma: "I need to go there to check the mail"
Me: "We just did that a little while ago on the way back from the grocery store. The mail you were just going through on the table we got from your mailbox today"
Grandma: "Oh, .. ok..... I have a Christmas card from Cline & Shirley ____ do you know who they are?"
Me: "Shirley is your niece & Cline is her husband"
Grandma: "My niece?"
Me: "Yes"
Grandma: (looking at the envelope): "Storm Lake, Iowa... I wonder if she lives in a house boat or if that's just the name of the town"
Me: "She lives in a house. Storm Lake is a town that's named after a lake next to it"
Grandma: "Have you been there?"
Me: "About a hundred times. There's a packing plant there where I pick up loads of meat & haul it to the east coast"
Grandma: "A packing plant?" (looking confused)
Me: "It's where they kill cows & cut them up & package them for grocery stores"
Grandma: "Oh, .. well why do you have to haul it to the east coast, don't they have meat out there?"
Me: "Trucks have to bring it there"
Grandma: "You drive a truck?"
Me: "Yeah, sometimes"
Grandma: "My daughter's husband has a truck he hauls the garbage to the dump with. He lives here too, this is their house. They're on vacation. I have my own house but I haven't been there in a really long time. (walking into kitchen) I think I'm supposed to go there to get the mail"
(I was in living room. I assumed maybe one of my aunt's cats **** on the floor again so I went in there right as Grandma was moving towards the refrigerator)
Grandma: "There's an awful mess in there"
Me: "Where?"
Grandma: "in that tall skinny box over there" (pointing at the trash can)
Me: "In the garbage?"
Grandma, mis-heard me: "It's full of garbage"
I looked in the garbage. It was about half full.
Me: "That's the garbage can. It's supposed to have garbage in it".
Grandma: "There's an awwwful mess in there. I need to clean that out & put all that stuff in the garbage"
Me: It already is in the garbage, that's the garbage can".
Grandma: "Oh is it really? Oh my Lord, ha ha... I didn't know it was the garbage can, ha ha ha..."
About 10 minutes earlier:
Geezer via text message: "I want to talk to Mom on the phone, answer it when I call & give her the phone".
Grandma (on phone with my dad): Do you know (Duck)? He's been here with me while Janell's on vacation. Janell's been gone a long time but she should be home pretty soon. We just got back from..... what was that?.... You are??? He is?? Really??? ..... Well I'll be.... Oh my Lord....... Well, ... heavens to Betsy..."
After she got off the phone she came into the living room & said "I didn't know you were my grandson! Ha ha... I just thought you were somebody Janell sent over from church, ... did you know you were my grandson?"
Me: "Yeah"
Grandma: "You did? Well how long did you know that?"
Me: "About 34 years now I think"
Grandma: "Ha ha, .. I didn't recognize you".
Just now as I've been typing this:
Grandma: "Do you know my daughter Janell?"
Me: "Yes. She'll be here tomorrow"
Grandma: "Oh, she will be?"
Me: "Yeah"
Grandma: "This is her house. I have my own house in town but I can't live there any more. I fell & hit my head & now I have a hard time remembering stuff"
Me: "Yes, I already know"
Grandma: "Do you know about how far it is to my house?"
Me: "About 10 miles"
Grandma: "I need to go there to check the mail"
Me: "We just did that a little while ago on the way back from the grocery store. The mail you were just going through on the table we got from your mailbox today"
Grandma: "Oh, .. ok..... I have a Christmas card from Cline & Shirley ____ do you know who they are?"
Me: "Shirley is your niece & Cline is her husband"
Grandma: "My niece?"
Me: "Yes"
Grandma: (looking at the envelope): "Storm Lake, Iowa... I wonder if she lives in a house boat or if that's just the name of the town"
Me: "She lives in a house. Storm Lake is a town that's named after a lake next to it"
Grandma: "Have you been there?"
Me: "About a hundred times. There's a packing plant there where I pick up loads of meat & haul it to the east coast"
Grandma: "A packing plant?" (looking confused)
Me: "It's where they kill cows & cut them up & package them for grocery stores"
Grandma: "Oh, .. well why do you have to haul it to the east coast, don't they have meat out there?"
Me: "Trucks have to bring it there"
Grandma: "You drive a truck?"
Me: "Yeah, sometimes"
Grandma: "My daughter's husband has a truck he hauls the garbage to the dump with. He lives here too, this is their house. They're on vacation. I have my own house but I haven't been there in a really long time. (walking into kitchen) I think I'm supposed to go there to get the mail"
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
She just got done going through all of her mail.
Grandma: "I had a whole bushel of mail, and almost all of it was people wanting money for whatever cause, .. one of them was they needed money because Obama was going to do something and they needed to stop it, ... Obama is the president and if he wants to do something, he's going to do it, ... unless the people working with him stop him, ... I think Obama's the dumbest president we've ever had"
Me:
Grandma: "I had a whole bushel of mail, and almost all of it was people wanting money for whatever cause, .. one of them was they needed money because Obama was going to do something and they needed to stop it, ... Obama is the president and if he wants to do something, he's going to do it, ... unless the people working with him stop him, ... I think Obama's the dumbest president we've ever had"
Me:
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
Grandma just pointed at a shelf full of fancy ceramic dolls. She said those were hers when she was a little girl. I picked one up & looked at the bottom & there's a sticker that says "MADE IN CHINA" and "Distributed by Dollar General". Ok. I'll have to ask my aunt how my grandma ended up thinking those dolls were from the 1920's, .... right after I explain to her why my car is parked on scraps of lumber in the back yard....
Then she pointed at a picture of her mother & asked if I knew who it was. I said it's her mother. She said yeah. Next she pointed at a picture of her mother with her parents, taken in 1894 & told me (correctly) who they were.
Above it is a picture of me & my parents & sister taken in 1981. I said "Who's that?" She said "That's my son & his wife & kids". I said "I think I'm related to them, especially the little boy". She said "Well you're my grandson so I imagine you're some relation to them". I said "Who's the little boy". She said "that's my grands.... that's YOU, ha ha"
Then she pointed at a picture of her mother & asked if I knew who it was. I said it's her mother. She said yeah. Next she pointed at a picture of her mother with her parents, taken in 1894 & told me (correctly) who they were.
Above it is a picture of me & my parents & sister taken in 1981. I said "Who's that?" She said "That's my son & his wife & kids". I said "I think I'm related to them, especially the little boy". She said "Well you're my grandson so I imagine you're some relation to them". I said "Who's the little boy". She said "that's my grands.... that's YOU, ha ha"
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
Channel 101? "Ride to Delphi" (1966) The Virginian's search for stolen cattle leads him to a stubborn sodbuster--.. and an ex-girlfriend (Western)" ?
I haven't been paying attention since the beginning so I'm lost & bored.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
Now she's fussy because the big fluffy cat is outside & won't come back in. Every 30 seconds she stands up & looks out the window looking for that stupid cat. It was hiding under my car so I put my shoes on to go get it so Grammaw will quit fussing. As soon as I got within 10 feet of the stupid bag of **** it ran into the bushes. I don't play games with cats. If it wants to stay out in the rain it can stay out in the freakin' rain.
I don't know about the Bailey's. I just gave her her medicine. I don't know if it's "do not mix with alcohol" stuff or not. There are no bottles. Just a SMTWTFS box my aunt left on the desk for her.
I don't know about the Bailey's. I just gave her her medicine. I don't know if it's "do not mix with alcohol" stuff or not. There are no bottles. Just a SMTWTFS box my aunt left on the desk for her.
Rigjockey
In Gord we trust!
What good is an Afghan? They are full of holes and good for nothing........................Stop it ya'll I was talking about the blanket.
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