Last night about 7PM I was asleep. Phone woke me up. I looked at it. It was my dad. I growled & pushed the ignore button & went back to sleep.
It kept ringing.
He was about 3/4 mile from his house on a rural stretch of road & his hydraulic clutch had gone out in his S-10. No idea why that would make him come to a dead stop nowhere near an intersection, but it did. Step on the clutch & nothing happens, no pedal pressure.
He tried to shut off the engine, put it in gear & ride the starter to get moving so he could at least go up a mile into town, turn around in a parking lot & idle home in 1st gear. Temp was in the teens & he was wearing shorts.
But that didn't work. "It must've blown the master everything fuse because I have no electric & I can't start it back up & my legs are freezing & I can't get the hood open, I think the release cable is broken".
So I got up. Drank coffee. Started up my F-150 which has expired plates & no insurance (it's retired & awaiting conversion to stick-shift). Put on my Carhardts & boots, found a worthless pair of fueling gloves, and went to the Geezer farm to get my chains. Could only find one short chain & the geezer had kept calling & texting & saying his legs were freezing. So I went to pick up the geezer to keep him warm while I searched for more chains. I got his hood open & wiggled the battery cables thinking it was just a bad connection. (it was just ice making the hood not pop up when he pulled the release)
His interior light didn't come on so I figured there was a "master everything" fuse that was blown like he said. He had a little LED flashlight so I left that sitting on the back bumper, left corner facing traffic even though it's a rural road nobody ever goes down.
Back at the Geezer farm he couldn't find pants.
Seriously, .. stop laughing.
He put on a pair of coveralls that he couldn't zip up past his belly.
Those had been mine when I was in high school.
Cops called his cell phone. No idea how they got his cell phone number but they said that "somebody almost hit it".
So instead of going back there with my uninsured F-150 we took my mom's van. Cop was waiting behind the S-10 so I didn't have time to find my other chains. Figured the cop would insist on a tow truck anyway.
Got back out there & noticed that LED flashlight I'd left on the bumper was dead. It was working when I left.
But the cop said he'd follow us since the S-10 had no lights. OK cool, ...
I inched forward til the chain was tight, then gave it a little bit of gas & it didn't move. So I got out to tell the Geezer to take the parking brake off. While he was trying to figure out how to release the parking brake, I heard a buzzing coming from the dash because the door was open & he had the key in the ignition.
That means the "master everything fuse" wasn't blown. His interior light just doesn't work.
I reached in & hit the marker lights & walked back, .. it was hard to tell if his lights were working with the cop's 8 billion watt spotlight on it so I hit his 4-way flashers & then I could tell. I walked back to the door & told the Geezer "Hey, .. try something, ... step on the clutch & try starting it". He said "clutch doesn't work". I said "I know, ... just step on the clutch & see if it'll start". It fired right up.
He had sat there freezing his legs off because he was too stupid to realize there's a starter interrupt switch so you can't start it unless you're on the clutch.
So now he's got heat, power steering & power brakes at least. And lights. I walked back & told the cop "I guess he's just retarded or senile & thought he blew a fuse because it wouldn't start unless he stepped on the clutch, ... but the clutch isn't working so he can't get it in gear so we're still gonna tow it'. Cop laughed & asked if we still needed him to follow & I said we can handle it. So he left. I was glad he left. That cop was friendly & stuff & not being a dick but I kept expecting another one to pull up & decide there's revenue to be collected somehow..
Geezer at least, was smart enough to know how to be towed with a chain. He did the braking for both vehicles & was smart enough to not fight with me when I could see that the 4-lane highway we needed to cross was clear & I decided to blow the stop sign rather than stop with the S-10 on the railroad tracks that are 30 feet behind that stop sign, & have chain slack to deal with when I got a break in traffic. (another reason I was glad that cop left)
I remember from driver's ed when I was in high school, it being perfectly legal to tow a vehicle with a chain in the state of Illinois back in the 1990's. I guess it still is.
