Duck Pond Redneckery

[Duck]

Toyota Sienna some dude's girlfriend's "mechanic" told them was junk because she hit a curb and broke the rim. After new tires and new rim it had a horrible ruckus and steering wheel shake above 45 mph and this "mechanic" couldn't figure out WTF was still wrong with it.

After inspection and test drive & another inspection, I bought it for not much over scrap value, "for parts"...




Anyway, I drove it home really slow. Ordered new front struts.
Put 'em on today. Drives like new.

Here's the old ones. Completely trashed but the right one (top pic) is broken internally.

 

[Duck]

Got me a free spare table saw, same model I inherited from my grandpa.

Neighbor downsized to a portable jobsite model.

 

[Duck]

In the interest of keeping everything in balance and equalibrium and in true harmony with nature and stuff, I decided to replace the Tonkavan's rear suspension too.

Had no idea the rear left spring was broken.

I never met the seller, just talked to her on the phone. But her boyfriend was fat.

Right after he demonstrated how the seats fold up and remove, he said "Kaylee & I have a lot of good memories in the back of this van."

Broken strut up front, broken spring in the rear,.... I'm guessing this chick is REALLY fat.





I had both springs and shocks replaced & the van back on the ground and ready to go get lawnmower gas by the time this email was sent.



Take THAT @GAnthony


Gonna road trip it tomorrow probably.

 

[Rigjockey]

Damn! got to be pretty fat to break a spring like that. I can't figure out the mechanics of two fat people fucking and I hope I never have to.

 

[Electric Chicken]

Damn! got to be pretty fat to break a spring like that. I can't figure out the mechanics of two fat people fucking and I hope I never have to.

I imagine it to be similar to a pair of 275 gallon totes without their cages.

 

[Duck]

Damn! got to be pretty fat to break a spring like that. I can't figure out the mechanics of two fat people fucking and I hope I never have to.

I don't think they actually do it, TBH.

The effort required to push all the blubber out of the way would make the male lardass lose all the blubber and end up with 6 pack abs.

Unless the female is on top, in which case crushed pelvic bones and hip dislocation would be a problem.

A dude would have to be hung like a horse just to get the tip in.

I think fat couples just get all lovey dovey and feed cheetos to each other, then put on their CPAP masks and call it a night.

 

[AK7]

I don't think they actually do it, TBH.


I think fat couples just get all lovey dovey and feed cheetos to each other, then put on their CPAP masks and call it a night.

You owe me a beer..
Half just went out my nose and I knocked the bottle over......

 

[Duck]

You owe me a beer..
Half just went out my nose and I knocked the bottle over......

I've got 4 cans of Busch Light in @Blood's fridge

 

[AK7]

I've got 4 cans of Busch Light in @Blood's fridge

 

[GAnthony]

In the interest of keeping everything in balance and equalibrium and in true harmony with nature and stuff, I decided to replace the Tonkavan's rear suspension too.

Had no idea the rear left spring was broken.

I never met the seller, just talked to her on the phone. But her boyfriend was fat.

Right after he demonstrated how the seats fold up and remove, he said "Kaylee & I have a lot of good memories in the back of this van."

Broken strut up front, broken spring in the rear,.... I'm guessing this chick is REALLY fat.

View attachment 98306

View attachment 98308

I had both springs and shocks replaced & the van back on the ground and ready to go get lawnmower gas by the time this email was sent.

View attachment 98307

Take THAT @GAnthony


Gonna road trip it tomorrow probably.

take what..>??????

you seem to forget, mechanics get paid by the hour, and if any mechanic worked that fast, he'd have a small paycheck each week.

you gotta learn to "milk" the job......take several breaks, maybe go out for a long lunch, maybe even a nap...then get back to work......

 

[Electric Chicken]

take what..>??????

you seem to forget, mechanics get paid by the hour, and if any mechanic worked that fast, he'd have a small paycheck each week.

you gotta learn to "milk" the job......take several breaks, maybe go out for a long lunch, maybe even a nap...then get back to work......

A lot of mechanics are flat rate though. They get paid more if they half ass and slap through the jobs.

 

[GAnthony]

A lot of mechanics are flat rate though. They get paid more if they half ass and slap through the jobs.

i was always hourly paid. the "majority" of dealerships pay flat rate, and yes they have to be fast...however, when there is a "comeback", that mechanic gets it back, and does not (or did not back in my time), got paid a second time.

so he loses..

hourly pay is best, as i got paid all the time.

and then too......i didn't have many (if any at all) comebacks, since i worked slower and methodically, not skipping any steps, which in the long run, the garage owner was able to charge more money.

flat rate guys would not wash, dry wheel bearings properly or repack them properly, or clean off the backing plate on drum brakes, and lube the standoffs where the brake shoes would contact on that plate. nor would they wire wheel clean the "self brake adjuster" and lube that......

all the little things that really mattered, the flat rate guys would skip.

 

[Duck]

So the boss described his minibike as:

"I've got the governor bypassed, it goes 40 mph. But the oil froze in the crankcase and cracked the block over the winter"

I brought it home to replace the engine.

Knowing damn well oil doesn't freeze, I figured out the problem. The rear oil filler plug was halfway unscrewed and it's almost impossible to see with the jackshaft plate on.



I pulled it off anyway just to be absolutely certain it hadn't thrown a rod, side cover plate bolts hadn't worked loose, or the internal governor parts hadn't flown apart at Ludicrous Speed.

Not only is the engine totally fine, but the governor is NOT bypassed and it's still at its factory RPM setting.

I did an amateur microscopic oil analysis and the oil that came out of it looks perfectly normal, no metal particles big enough to see without the microscope. Meaning it's a good motor.

I put oil in it, started it up outside, put it back on the bike, hooked up the kill switch (he'd been turning it off by choking it ) and rode it around the yard.

It goes 26 mph which is faster than I expected due to the governor and the low gear ratio.


But now I'm working on adding foot pegs to the fork for his kids to put their feet on when he rides them around on the front seat he added.

The 9 year old needs the pegs "down by the top of the tire" and the 5 year old needs them "right where the reflectors used to be"

Problem is it's a telescopic fork. Can't attach anything to the part that has to go inside the outer part. Can't drill or weld on it because it's Chinese steel and I don't want to fuck with any possible heat treatment or anneal the metal.


Not really sure WTF I'll come up with yet.

 

[Electric Chicken]

So the boss described his minibike as:

"I've got the governor bypassed, it goes 40 mph. But the oil froze in the crankcase and cracked the block over the winter"

I brought it home to replace the engine.

Knowing damn well oil doesn't freeze, I figured out the problem. The rear oil filler plug was halfway unscrewed and it's almost impossible to see with the jackshaft plate on.

View attachment 98326

I pulled it off anyway just to be absolutely certain it hadn't thrown a rod, side cover plate bolts hadn't worked loose, or the internal governor parts hadn't flown apart at Ludicrous Speed.

Not only is the engine totally fine, but the governor is NOT bypassed and it's still at its factory RPM setting.

I did an amateur microscopic oil analysis and the oil that came out of it looks perfectly normal, no metal particles big enough to see without the microscope. Meaning it's a good motor.

I put oil in it, started it up outside, put it back on the bike, hooked up the kill switch (he'd been turning it off by choking it ) and rode it around the yard.

It goes 26 mph which is faster than I expected due to the governor and the low gear ratio.


But now I'm working on adding foot pegs to the fork for his kids to put their feet on when he rides them around on the front seat he added.

The 9 year old needs the pegs "down by the top of the tire" and the 5 year old needs them "right where the reflectors used to be"

Problem is it's a telescopic fork. Can't attach anything to the part that has to go inside the outer part. Can't drill or weld on it because it's Chinese steel and I don't want to fuck with any possible heat treatment or anneal the metal.

View attachment 98327
Not really sure WTF I'll come up with yet.

Since when do you have a boss?