Duck Pond Redneckery

[389 Hood]

The other humans though. That's the problem.

Many of those 'other humans' are hot young girls in the tiniest bikinis you could imagine, just laying about in the sun. And let's not forget the adults only upper deck where on many ships clothing is optional and highly discouraged to be up there with it on.

The food is 24 hours a day endless, as are the bars. That's where you can drop some serious money unless you buy the drink package which is about the cost of a good bottle of booze. You have a shipboard credit card that you use for all expenses and that bill is settled at the end of the cruise. You can run that card up in a hurry drinking or dining at the high end restaurants or spending at the gift shops.

I've done Eastern and Southern Caribbean, Panama Canal, Mexico, Cayman Islands, Jamaica, Alaska Inside Passage and few of them stopped in Key West and other private islands that the cruise company owns. I pretty much hate people too, but I'm not going to let them spoil my fun. Security is tight and you never know where they are. They don't want any passengers hurt, they want you back again and again. There is so much to do on the ship, you don't even have to get off of it at the ports. That's when you need a passport.

 

[Electric Chicken]

Many of those 'other humans' are hot young girls in the tiniest bikinis you could imagine, just laying about in the sun. And let's not forget the adults only upper deck where on many ships clothing is optional and highly discouraged to be up there with it on.

The food is 24 hours a day endless, as are the bars. That's where you can drop some serious money unless you buy the drink package which is about the cost of a good bottle of booze. You have a shipboard credit card that you use for all expenses and that bill is settled at the end of the cruise. You can run that card up in a hurry drinking or dining at the high end restaurants or spending at the gift shops.

I've done Eastern and Southern Caribbean, Panama Canal, Mexico, Cayman Islands, Jamaica, Alaska Inside Passage and few of them stopped in Key West and other private islands that the cruise company owns. I pretty much hate people too, but I'm not going to let them spoil my fun. Security is tight and you never know where they are. They don't want any passengers hurt, they want you back again and again. There is so much to do on the ship, you don't even have to get off of it at the ports. That's when you need a passport.

So like every trucker who has shown me a pic of a girl he deemed hot, I wasn't impressed with his judgement. I surmise he had the eye chart memorized.

I have pretty high standards whether I deserve them or not, and that's why I bought and installed new deck plates.

Therefore I shall hencewith decline purveying cruise ships.

Also, I am cheap.

 

[Duck]

So like every trucker who has shown me a pic of a girl he deemed hot, I wasn't impressed with his judgement. I surmise he had the eye chart memorized.

I have pretty high standards whether I deserve them or not, and that's why I bought and installed new deck plates.

Therefore I shall hencewith decline purveying cruise ships.

Also, I am cheap.

I know 4 girls that would be perfect for you. Only problem is they're half your age.

Anyway two are my neighbor's daughters, one is my friend Ron's daughter and the 4th one is just some chick who works at the cigarette store.

All of them are less than 100 lbs, all roughly 5 ft tall and 3 of them are really cute. The cigarette store chick is only kind of cute.

Oh and one of my neighbor's micro-daughters is a Chicago cop. Yeah that little tiny <100 lb cute thing is a cop. In Chicago.


Unfortunately I have no practical use for any of those chicks. Neighbor Jimmy's daughters can ride his 4 wheeler but they don't ride 2 wheelers. And Ron's daughter, though willing and eager, simply doesn't have enough experience to be going fast on the street since I put street tires on the minibike.

But I'd like to find out how it performs with a 100 lb rider.

There's a speedometer app you can get on your phone but I want one that records time and speed together, so I can science out the rate of acceleration and compare it to when I'm on it.

I want more power but not speed.


Damn I'm getting old. I just turned a post about cute petite young women into a nerd thing about physics.

 

[389 Hood]

Damn I'm getting old. I just turned a post about cute petite young women into a nerd thing about physics.

I'm glad you said it. I was thinking it while reading. You are in need of a way to sort these things out. Like...your wife and all of your previous girlfriends. Even if there is only two of them. But in our feeble minds, they are still hot to us!

 

[Duck]

I'm glad you said it. I was thinking it while reading. You are in need of a way to sort these things out. Like...your wife and all of your previous girlfriends. Even if there is only two of them. But in our feeble minds, they are still hot to us!

My dog won't let us near each other.

He thinks he has to protect me from her, and her from me.

When we're sitting side by side, he sits there alternately growling and licking at both of us. If she moves a hand towards me, he lightly bites her wrist. Same thing if I touch her.

It's so annoying. I have to trap him in another room sometimes.

 

[Electric Chicken]

I know 4 girls that would be perfect for you. Only problem is they're half your age.

Anyway two are my neighbor's daughters, one is my friend Ron's daughter and the 4th one is just some chick who works at the cigarette store.

All of them are less than 100 lbs, all roughly 5 ft tall and 3 of them are really cute. The cigarette store chick is only kind of cute.

Oh and one of my neighbor's micro-daughters is a Chicago cop. Yeah that little tiny <100 lb cute thing is a cop. In Chicago.


Unfortunately I have no practical use for any of those chicks. Neighbor Jimmy's daughters can ride his 4 wheeler but they don't ride 2 wheelers. And Ron's daughter, though willing and eager, simply doesn't have enough experience to be going fast on the street since I put street tires on the minibike.

But I'd like to find out how it performs with a 100 lb rider.

There's a speedometer app you can get on your phone but I want one that records time and speed together, so I can science out the rate of acceleration and compare it to when I'm on it.

I want more power but not speed.


Damn I'm getting old. I just turned a post about cute petite young women into a nerd thing about physics.

I'll take them all. Half my age is outside the scope of criminal prosecution. It just boils down to how annoying they are. Based on YouTube shorts, none of them are worth giving up my peace, but real world ones may prove different.

I need to prioritize and fast track the sunroom/den remodel regardless. It'll be the poor man's version of Elvis' jungle room.

 

[Duck]

I'll take them all. Half my age is outside the scope of criminal prosecution. It just boils down to how annoying they are. Based on YouTube shorts, none of them are worth giving up my peace, but real world ones may prove different.

I need to prioritize and fast track the sunroom/den remodel regardless. It'll be the poor man's version of Elvis' jungle room.

There's this chick who keeps showing up on the Facebook "reels". In every video she shows off her crotch in skimpy yoga shorts.

You might want to charge your phone before you click this link

https://m.facebook.com/YourAubsome/

 

[389 Hood]

I have a neighbor girl like her. She rides up and down the street in near nothing on electric one wheels and scooters and jogging. She's about 15 or 16 and her dad could rip me in half without breaking a sweat. She knows I watch her and she always smiles when she goes by.

Maybe inwardly she's laughing at the old dude mowing his lawn and drooling.

 

[Electric Chicken]

There's this chick who keeps showing up on the Facebook "reels". In every video she shows off her crotch in skimpy yoga shorts.

You might want to charge your phone before you click this link

https://m.facebook.com/YourAubsome/

I already know about her. Didn't even have to click the link. She also has a friend who does the same thing.

 

[389 Hood]

That is some nice eye candy though!

 

[Duck]

I have a neighbor girl like her. She rides up and down the street in near nothing on electric one wheels and scooters and jogging. She's about 15 or 16 and her dad could rip me in half without breaking a sweat. She knows I watch her and she always smiles when she goes by.

Maybe inwardly she's laughing at the old dude mowing his lawn and drooling.

My guess is she innocently sees you as a "grandpa type", and she thinks males more than one year older than her are not the slightest bit interested in her figure.

"Smile at the old guy sitting on his porch wishing he had some ducks and a bag of bread crusts to feed them" is probably what she's thinking.

Any guy who is more than 10 years older than them might as well be geriatric

 

[Electric Chicken]

My guess is she innocently sees you as a "grandpa type", and she thinks males more than one year older than her are not the slightest bit interested in her figure.

"Smile at the old guy sitting on his porch wishing he had some ducks and a bag of bread crusts to feed them" is probably what she's thinking.

Any guy who is more than 10 years older than them might as well be geriatric

They think dirty old men are cute. Dirty middle age men give them "the ick."

 

[389 Hood]

My guess is she innocently sees you as a "grandpa type", and she thinks males more than one year older than her are not the slightest bit interested in her figure.

"Smile at the old guy sitting on his porch wishing he had some ducks and a bag of bread crusts to feed them" is probably what she's thinking.

Any guy who is more than 10 years older than them might as well be geriatric

Yeah, but I'm not the broken down grandpa type yet. I still stand up straight, no fat belly hanging over my belt and I have a good tan. Yet, a buddy of mine across the street is 2 months older than me and he looks ready to take a dirt nap.
She comes from a very quiet family. Very adorable, home schooled, smart as a whip and her brother is the same way. The parents spend a lot of time with them doing all sorts of stuff together. Like a family unit used to be.

 

[Duck]

How it started





Now:

 

[Duck]

Demon:

 

[Duck]

I have logs from 2022 that have survived the last two bonfires. Tonight they Burn
I'm using a little blower fan to keep shit hot

 

[Duck]

Here's a pic with the flash on to show off my 15 minute improvised blower fan stand

 

[Duck]

My fire pole. A stick of half inch conduit with a 1/4" bolt welded on the end like a hook.

I keep it in the bucket of water when I'm not re-arranging the logs.

The orange paint on the handle end is because I walked into the f*ng thing twice tonight in the dark and I'm lucky I'm not f*ing blind



Yeah I was standing in the middle of the smoke when I took that picture.

It may seem like just a boring stick of metal tube, but.. OK it is, but here's some cool science I just learned.

OK, take that pole and set the hook end in the fire for a few minutes and get it really effin' hot, while the middle of the pole is still cold.

Grab it in the middle & stick the COLD end of the pole in the water bucket and keep holding onto it in the middle.

After a minute, the middle gets hot.

It's really f*n' weird but the water in the bucket seems to draw the heat from the other end, right past your hand in the middle.

But if you heat up the hook end of the pole in the fire & just lean it up against something, the middle never gets warm as the hot end cools in the air.

I bet it's the same physics that happens when you solder copper pipe fittings. The molten solder flows towards the heat.

I'd text the fire chief about this fascinating scientific thermodynamics discovery I just made, but it's 2:38 am on a weekday and I'm on my last beer.

 

[Duck]

For anyone considering stealing my fire pole invention, use 1" conduit.

Half inch is too flimsy.

 

[Duck]

There are train tracks half a mile west of here.

@Electric Chicken knows what I'm talking about because he cyberstalked me and found Blueford in the satellite image.

Anyway about every hour or so, a train goes by & they have to blow their horns for the crossings.

About 1/4 mile southwest of here is a patch of woods next to the creek.

Every night, every train, the coyotes go nuts howling and yelping when they hear the train horns.

It's really cool to listen to.

Especially in colder weather because sound waves travel better through cold, dense air. Tonight it's a tad foggy at ground level but I can see stars. I'm thinking fog conducts sound waves better than dry air. Because those coyotes sound like they're close enough I should be sitting here with my semi-auto Thompson clone. (Volunteer Arms Commando Mark 45, made in TN, predates certain laws. )