Duck Pond Redneckery
- Thread starter Duck
- Start date
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
So I saw this shit on Facebook:
Now it's in my yard.
It's a flimsy piece of shit suitable only for a fenced-in suburban back yard with a well behaved dog that keeps actual predators away.
The chicken wire is super thin and flimsy, I could probably rip through it with my bare hands.
So I'm gonna get some better stuff at Menards.
I'm beefing it up so it's strong enough to lift & drag around the yard with the 4 wheeler. It's eventually going to be on wheels and have one third enclosed as a coop.
Right now it's one rigid frame that doesn't flex in any direction.
I've spent $200 just on 3/4" electrical conduit. I've actually added 20 ten foot sticks.
But I ain't even close to done yet.
Now it's in my yard.
It's a flimsy piece of shit suitable only for a fenced-in suburban back yard with a well behaved dog that keeps actual predators away.
The chicken wire is super thin and flimsy, I could probably rip through it with my bare hands.
So I'm gonna get some better stuff at Menards.
I'm beefing it up so it's strong enough to lift & drag around the yard with the 4 wheeler. It's eventually going to be on wheels and have one third enclosed as a coop.
Right now it's one rigid frame that doesn't flex in any direction.
I've spent $200 just on 3/4" electrical conduit. I've actually added 20 ten foot sticks.
But I ain't even close to done yet.
Electric Chicken
Well-Known Member
Vevor is a dead giveaway.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
I've never heard of Vevor til this. I hear they mainly sell cheap tools.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
My dog woke me up at 2AM going ape shit crazy barking and howling and my first thought was a burglar in the house.
I grabbed my 45 but as soon as I opened the bedroom door, all I could smell was smoke from wood burning. And I thought it was odd that the dog immediately calmed down as soon as I got out of bed.
After a quick look around, the house was not on fire, so I went outside and there's smoke EVERYWHERE and it's so thick that visibility was less than 50 feet.
I left two windows open, that's why the house smells like wood smoke.
I couldn't even see my damn porch light on the pole barn until I was almost to it.
None of my buildings were on fire.
I checked the wind direction with a cigarette and it's going northwest. So I hopped on the minibike, the only vehicle that doesn't need a key, and headed southeast but as soon as I started moving, my glasses fogged up.
So it's not smoke, it's smog.
In front of the minibike headlight you can see ashes and water vapor floating with the wind.
So I grabbed the van and went around the block. Fog is thick everywhere, but there is no smoke smell on the next E/W road to the south.
So it's coming from the fields.
There's a creek that runs diagonally southwest, and I followed the levee on the 4 wheeler and as soon as I get about 1000 feet south of my property, there's no smoke smell. Still super thick fog and near zero visibility.
I kept turning off the ATV lights to see if I can see an orange glow, but it's just total darkness.
In fact, I left the ATV lights & engine on & walked about 100 feet and looked back and could not see the 4 wheeler. It's lights are just as bright as the ones on a car, and in fact it's got three headlights that are bright as fuck. I had to follow the sound of the engine idling for a few feet until I could see it.
So there's no spotting a fire in this pea soup fog.
Literally all I have is my sense of smell, cigarettes to check wind direction, and Google Maps on my phone with the satellite imagery layer.
And my stupid dog. I figured he'd lead me to it, because he obviously knew something ain't right when he could smell it in the house. But all he did was follow me.
By the wind direction, my nose, and Google maps, I was able to narrow it down to an area in a field they just planted, so I ain't gonna tear it up with the 4 wheeler.
The plan is to wait til the 80 year old man who owns the farm to show up at his office barn, he's always there really early. I'll tell him & he'll get his son on the task. It's his land that's on fire.
I thought about calling the fire department but if it's just a brush fire, I'd hate to have them tear up his field with their 4wd pickups.
Whatever is burning, it ain't gonna spread because everything is wet.
Which makes this even more of a mystery because what could possibly be burning in the middle of a newly planted corn field after a week of rain? It's a wood smoke smell.
There's a patch of woods back in that direction but I already went there and checked it out. No fires, no smoke smell.
But I'm definitely gonna monitor the situation until the old man shows up. He's got thousands of gallons of sulferic acid in outdoor tanks next to the pole barn closest to the field the smoke is coming from, and that barn is right in the path of the smoke smell. It's for some kind of fertilizer they make.
I grabbed my 45 but as soon as I opened the bedroom door, all I could smell was smoke from wood burning. And I thought it was odd that the dog immediately calmed down as soon as I got out of bed.
After a quick look around, the house was not on fire, so I went outside and there's smoke EVERYWHERE and it's so thick that visibility was less than 50 feet.
I left two windows open, that's why the house smells like wood smoke.
I couldn't even see my damn porch light on the pole barn until I was almost to it.
None of my buildings were on fire.
I checked the wind direction with a cigarette and it's going northwest. So I hopped on the minibike, the only vehicle that doesn't need a key, and headed southeast but as soon as I started moving, my glasses fogged up.
So it's not smoke, it's smog.
In front of the minibike headlight you can see ashes and water vapor floating with the wind.
So I grabbed the van and went around the block. Fog is thick everywhere, but there is no smoke smell on the next E/W road to the south.
So it's coming from the fields.
There's a creek that runs diagonally southwest, and I followed the levee on the 4 wheeler and as soon as I get about 1000 feet south of my property, there's no smoke smell. Still super thick fog and near zero visibility.
I kept turning off the ATV lights to see if I can see an orange glow, but it's just total darkness.
In fact, I left the ATV lights & engine on & walked about 100 feet and looked back and could not see the 4 wheeler. It's lights are just as bright as the ones on a car, and in fact it's got three headlights that are bright as fuck. I had to follow the sound of the engine idling for a few feet until I could see it.
So there's no spotting a fire in this pea soup fog.
Literally all I have is my sense of smell, cigarettes to check wind direction, and Google Maps on my phone with the satellite imagery layer.
And my stupid dog. I figured he'd lead me to it, because he obviously knew something ain't right when he could smell it in the house. But all he did was follow me.
By the wind direction, my nose, and Google maps, I was able to narrow it down to an area in a field they just planted, so I ain't gonna tear it up with the 4 wheeler.
The plan is to wait til the 80 year old man who owns the farm to show up at his office barn, he's always there really early. I'll tell him & he'll get his son on the task. It's his land that's on fire.
I thought about calling the fire department but if it's just a brush fire, I'd hate to have them tear up his field with their 4wd pickups.
Whatever is burning, it ain't gonna spread because everything is wet.
Which makes this even more of a mystery because what could possibly be burning in the middle of a newly planted corn field after a week of rain? It's a wood smoke smell.
There's a patch of woods back in that direction but I already went there and checked it out. No fires, no smoke smell.
But I'm definitely gonna monitor the situation until the old man shows up. He's got thousands of gallons of sulferic acid in outdoor tanks next to the pole barn closest to the field the smoke is coming from, and that barn is right in the path of the smoke smell. It's for some kind of fertilizer they make.
Electric Chicken
Well-Known Member
Damn. That's all I've got to say about that.My dog woke me up at 2AM going ape shit crazy barking and howling and my first thought was a burglar in the house.
I grabbed my 45 but as soon as I opened the bedroom door, all I could smell was smoke from wood burning. And I thought it was odd that the dog immediately calmed down as soon as I got out of bed.
After a quick look around, the house was not on fire, so I went outside and there's smoke EVERYWHERE and it's so thick that visibility was less than 50 feet.
I left two windows open, that's why the house smells like wood smoke.
I couldn't even see my damn porch light on the pole barn until I was almost to it.
None of my buildings were on fire.
I checked the wind direction with a cigarette and it's going northwest. So I hopped on the minibike, the only vehicle that doesn't need a key, and headed southeast but as soon as I started moving, my glasses fogged up.
So it's not smoke, it's smog.
In front of the minibike headlight you can see ashes and water vapor floating with the wind.
So I grabbed the van and went around the block. Fog is thick everywhere, but there is no smoke smell on the next E/W road to the south.
So it's coming from the fields.
There's a creek that runs diagonally southwest, and I followed the levee on the 4 wheeler and as soon as I get about 1000 feet south of my property, there's no smoke smell. Still super thick fog and near zero visibility.
I kept turning off the ATV lights to see if I can see an orange glow, but it's just total darkness.
In fact, I left the ATV lights & engine on & walked about 100 feet and looked back and could not see the 4 wheeler. It's lights are just as bright as the ones on a car, and in fact it's got three headlights that are bright as fuck. I had to follow the sound of the engine idling for a few feet until I could see it.
So there's no spotting a fire in this pea soup fog.
Literally all I have is my sense of smell, cigarettes to check wind direction, and Google Maps on my phone with the satellite imagery layer.
And my stupid dog. I figured he'd lead me to it, because he obviously knew something ain't right when he could smell it in the house. But all he did was follow me.
By the wind direction, my nose, and Google maps, I was able to narrow it down to an area in a field they just planted, so I ain't gonna tear it up with the 4 wheeler.
The plan is to wait til the 80 year old man who owns the farm to show up at his office barn, he's always there really early. I'll tell him & he'll get his son on the task. It's his land that's on fire.
I thought about calling the fire department but if it's just a brush fire, I'd hate to have them tear up his field with their 4wd pickups.
Whatever is burning, it ain't gonna spread because everything is wet.
Which makes this even more of a mystery because what could possibly be burning in the middle of a newly planted corn field after a week of rain? It's a wood smoke smell.
There's a patch of woods back in that direction but I already went there and checked it out. No fires, no smoke smell.
But I'm definitely gonna monitor the situation until the old man shows up. He's got thousands of gallons of sulferic acid in outdoor tanks next to the pole barn closest to the field the smoke is coming from, and that barn is right in the path of the smoke smell. It's for some kind of fertilizer they make.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
It gets weirder...
I woke up about an hour ago and there was a helicopter moving low and slow directly over the suspected fire area.
But the fog is completely gone. Wind direction & speed is about the same.
I'm not gonna trample the farmers infant crops, but as far as I can see there are no burned areas and nothing making smoke.
Maybe I'll go up 40 feet on the lift with binoculars and look at the field.
Or I'll just say fuck it & beat this damn dog that won't stop gnawing on my ankles.
I woke up about an hour ago and there was a helicopter moving low and slow directly over the suspected fire area.
But the fog is completely gone. Wind direction & speed is about the same.
I'm not gonna trample the farmers infant crops, but as far as I can see there are no burned areas and nothing making smoke.
Maybe I'll go up 40 feet on the lift with binoculars and look at the field.
Or I'll just say fuck it & beat this damn dog that won't stop gnawing on my ankles.
Electric Chicken
Well-Known Member
Aliens.It gets weirder...
I woke up about an hour ago and there was a helicopter moving low and slow directly over the suspected fire area.
But the fog is completely gone. Wind direction & speed is about the same.
I'm not gonna trample the farmers infant crops, but as far as I can see there are no burned areas and nothing making smoke.
Maybe I'll go up 40 feet on the lift with binoculars and look at the field.
Or I'll just say fuck it & beat this damn dog that won't stop gnawing on my ankles.
Electric Chicken
Well-Known Member
Related to the fog/smoke/aliens or no?
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
Electric Chicken
Well-Known Member
Might as well go back to bed at this point.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
For the last few days my dad has been saying he was going to buy me an airplane.
Yeah right,....
I know you can probably get a Boeing 737 really cheap these days, but where the hell would I park it? And what if a bird lands on the wing & causes an engine to fall off?
But now he's hunting for his check book
All I know is it's a Quicksilver ultralight 2 seater with no engine, and the fabric on the wings needs replaced.
I'm supposed to get an engine and prop for it and redo the wings, and convert it to a single seater so it can be flown without a license.
Right after I build a new barn to keep it in... because these barns currently have FIVE other planes that are not in flying condition. Wings detached and hung up on the pole barn interior walls.
One of them belongs to a 78 year old black man in Joliet who no longer meets the criteria for the medical certificate.
Yeah right,....
I know you can probably get a Boeing 737 really cheap these days, but where the hell would I park it? And what if a bird lands on the wing & causes an engine to fall off?
But now he's hunting for his check book
All I know is it's a Quicksilver ultralight 2 seater with no engine, and the fabric on the wings needs replaced.
I'm supposed to get an engine and prop for it and redo the wings, and convert it to a single seater so it can be flown without a license.
Right after I build a new barn to keep it in... because these barns currently have FIVE other planes that are not in flying condition. Wings detached and hung up on the pole barn interior walls.
One of them belongs to a 78 year old black man in Joliet who no longer meets the criteria for the medical certificate.
Electric Chicken
Well-Known Member
Figures he'd promise a Boeing 747 then cheap out. Classic child abuse.For the last few days my dad has been saying he was going to buy me an airplane.
Yeah right,....
I know you can probably get a Boeing 737 really cheap these days, but where the hell would I park it? And what if a bird lands on the wing & causes an engine to fall off?
But now he's hunting for his check book
All I know is it's a Quicksilver ultralight 2 seater with no engine, and the fabric on the wings needs replaced.
I'm supposed to get an engine and prop for it and redo the wings, and convert it to a single seater so it can be flown without a license.
Right after I build a new barn to keep it in... because these barns currently have FIVE other planes that are not in flying condition. Wings detached and hung up on the pole barn interior walls.
One of them belongs to a 78 year old black man in Joliet who no longer meets the criteria for the medical certificate.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
It would be cool to buy an old piece of shit junkyard condition 747 and have it trucked out to a rural acreage and re-assembled, so I can convert it to a house.
I think they're still worth hundreds of thousands of dollars even in scrap condition though. Lots of spare parts to keep Chinese freighters in the air I guess. Plus aluminum scrap value.
I guess that's why we almost never see anyone do that.
That and because it's probably an incredibly stupid idea.
Electric Chicken
Well-Known Member
Yeah there are a few jumbos turned into homes. Rich people who needed moms to slap them upside the head.It would be cool to buy an old piece of shit junkyard condition 747 and have it trucked out to a rural acreage and re-assembled, so I can convert it to a house.
I think they're still worth hundreds of thousands of dollars even in scrap condition though. Lots of spare parts to keep Chinese freighters in the air I guess. Plus aluminum scrap value.
I guess that's why we almost never see anyone do that.
That and because it's probably an incredibly stupid idea.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
There was a Convair 240, big twin piston engine propeller airliner from the 1950's that was once owned by Howard Hughes, then it was owned by a cult called the Rajneesh. Idiots who worshipped a drug addict freak from India..
Anyway it somehow ended up parked at Lewis University Airport for like ten years, and it said Air Rajneesh on it. It was in junkyard shape.
My friends and I got inside it once, by using a bicycle as a ladder to get up on the wing. There was an emergency escape hatch missing.
It had blue shag carpet, big purple couches and recliners, and it was full of animal poop and critter bones.
Then one day I noticed it was gone.
Many years later I found a picture I took of it and googled the tail number and found out it spent some time in a field in Ohio, as if it was disassembled and trucked there.
Then I found a more recent news article about some guy had it in his yard in Sandusky, minus the wings, and he was in the process of converting it to a bed and breakfast or some kind of small restaurant but he was battling with his local government.
If it's still there I could probably buy it cheap.... but I don't want it. I want a 747
Rigjockey
In Gord we trust!
Nah you don't want that. They stink as in they smell real bad. Body odor, vomit. and remember you could smoke on planes back then.It would be cool to buy an old piece of shit junkyard condition 747 and have it trucked out to a rural acreage and re-assembled, so I can convert it to a house.
I think they're still worth hundreds of thousands of dollars even in scrap condition though. Lots of spare parts to keep Chinese freighters in the air I guess. Plus aluminum scrap value.
I guess that's why we almost never see anyone do that.
That and because it's probably an incredibly stupid idea.
They had a Constellation parked at the Constellation hotel near here. Someone bought it, moved it to the north end of the airport and turned it into a bar/restaurant. I went there once and had one beer. The plane stank!
The Bar/restaurant didn't last long, and I am not sure what happened to the Conny.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
If I was converting it to a house, I'd be stripping out all things like carpet and of course, all the seats would be gone. The smell would go away.
I'm literally never going to actually do this, but it's kinda fun to think about.
There's a show on some channel called "You live in what?" and it's about people who have converted odd things into houses.
Grain bins, concrete silos, barns, old factories, school buses, missile silos, shipping containers, etc.
I'd like to buy an old abandoned mine. Hire some mining engineers to tell me what needs to be done to make it safe, and turn it into a bunker house.
My closest neighbor lives an a 150 year old school.
There's a church nearby someone converted into a house. It still has the steeple & I know they still have access to the belfry because I've seen halloween decorations up there.
There's a small brick house a few miles from here that was originally a switching station for the telephone company.
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