Electric Chicken
Well-Known Member
My fantasy will live on in spite of your attempt at wrecking it.
Duck Pond Redneckery
- Thread starter Duck
- Start date
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
Looks like I accidentally made some form of napalm.
I put a little bit of denatured alcohol in this little container to clean the paint brush when I put spar urethane on the mahogany dashboard I made for the Model T Junior (Shitbox Edition).
Then I forgot about it for 3 weeks.
I just scooped some out with a screwdriver and lit it with a Bic and it immediately started burning and dripping on the floor while burning.
It sucks though, I can't use it as camping fuel because it makes black smoke or soot.
I put a little bit of denatured alcohol in this little container to clean the paint brush when I put spar urethane on the mahogany dashboard I made for the Model T Junior (Shitbox Edition).
Then I forgot about it for 3 weeks.
I just scooped some out with a screwdriver and lit it with a Bic and it immediately started burning and dripping on the floor while burning.
It sucks though, I can't use it as camping fuel because it makes black smoke or soot.
use it as a torch, like the forever burning ones in caves, or Egyption tombs.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
New redneckery... A piece of rope tied to the wiper arm and fed in through the window of my dad's S-10..
Taking my dad to the ER with chest pain, he insisted we take his piece of crap S-10.
It's raining & the wipers quit right away. I can't see shit without the wipers, so I took him to the fire department instead, it's 12 miles closer.
There, I discovered that if you grab the wiper arm and move it, it'll start working again...
5 miles later they stopped again. So I dug through my dad's crap in the back looking for kite string and found a piece of rope about 4 feet long.
Wipers quit two more times and I pulled the rope & got 'em started again.
Taking my dad to the ER with chest pain, he insisted we take his piece of crap S-10.
It's raining & the wipers quit right away. I can't see shit without the wipers, so I took him to the fire department instead, it's 12 miles closer.
There, I discovered that if you grab the wiper arm and move it, it'll start working again...
5 miles later they stopped again. So I dug through my dad's crap in the back looking for kite string and found a piece of rope about 4 feet long.
Wipers quit two more times and I pulled the rope & got 'em started again.
Rigjockey
In Gord we trust!
Pull start wipers
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
Well it's a General Motors product, so..Pull start wipers
389 Hood
Well-Known Member
Not everyone can afford a Ford, ya know!
389 Hood
Well-Known Member
A bad case of reflux can feel like chest pain.
Years ago, the wife and I went out to dinner on Christmas Eve. On the top of the house salad, unknown to me they had put an extremely hot pepper. I removed it from the salad and laid it on the inside of the bowl and just ate the salad. A few hour later, it felt like I was having a heart attack and I had her take me to the ER. I ended up spending Christmas in the hospital because of that pepper. Just the juices from it that got on the rest of the salad caused a reaction inside me that mimicked a heart attack.
It felt like a 300 pound fat girl was sitting directly on my chest. I couldn't breathe, my heart was pounding and I was dripping with sweat. I never ate there again.
Years ago, the wife and I went out to dinner on Christmas Eve. On the top of the house salad, unknown to me they had put an extremely hot pepper. I removed it from the salad and laid it on the inside of the bowl and just ate the salad. A few hour later, it felt like I was having a heart attack and I had her take me to the ER. I ended up spending Christmas in the hospital because of that pepper. Just the juices from it that got on the rest of the salad caused a reaction inside me that mimicked a heart attack.
It felt like a 300 pound fat girl was sitting directly on my chest. I couldn't breathe, my heart was pounding and I was dripping with sweat. I never ate there again.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
I ordered these stickers online:
Tonight I went to Harbor Freight and Walmart.
Y'all need to help me think of other store items I can put these stickers on.
If I bring Sarah with me so it doesn't look odd, a man by himself in the women's makeup aisle, I'll put them on lipstick.
And a pack of tampons.
Condoms are behind locked glass, so they're out. Unless I can trick an employee into opening it for me and have Sarah distract him with dumb questions..
I bet I can find some stuff at Menards or Farm and Fleet.
The plumbing section, on one of those toilet/drain cleaner rooter things.
There's a flaming f****t at Menards who wears women's high heels & works in the section with kitchen cabinets and counter tops on display. But I can't think of anything in that section to put a sticker on. Maybe a pen or something on his little desk/counter where he tries to sell cabinets to people.
One of those dog tie-down augers in the pet section.
They have 3 foot long hardwood dowels up to 2" thick
One of those mechanics reachy grabby things for when you drop a bolt down where you can't reach it.
Maybe I'll see if Menards has things like kitchen items. One of those turkey basters with the squeeze bulb, or a long narrow ladle.. I'll put a sticker on it and leave it lying on one of the display counter-tops in that gay guy's section.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
I ain't worried. I'd make friends with the cop.I am not sure about how it works down there but you might catch a mischief charge.
The court case would be hilarious though.
And then I'd put a sticker on the microphone for his police radio.
Rigjockey
In Gord we trust!
I ain't worried. I'd make friends with the cop.
And then I'd put a sticker on the microphone for his police radio.
Electric Chicken
Well-Known Member
Is that the recipe for making a phone out of common household objects?I left my phone in the van at Walmart.
But that didn't stop me.
I put one on a banana, a plantain, a pepperoni sausage that was like 16" long, a package of Johnsonville Brats, and on a cucumber.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
Yes, but results may vary...
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