Let's argue about your bad taste in music.

[boone315]

I read that she is bicycle or something like that.

All I can say is once she tries me, she will never go back to women.

She seems a little off kilter to me but that is just me.

 

[Keendriver]

Get on your Bad Motor Scooter. Spring is right around the corner.

[video=youtube;x8T_PQoTC30]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8T_PQoTC30[/video]

R.I.P. Ronnie.

 

[Racer X 69]

R.I.P. Ronnie.

Indeed. A life that ended way too soon. He was only 64.

I know this is off topic, and the subject seems to be one far too many men avoid.

But prostate cancer does not have to be a death sentence. Get screened for it. Regularly. Once a man turns 50 the first thing he should do (after drinking 50 beers of course) is get the colonoscopy.

You know, the procedure described here:

OK. You turned 50. You know you're supposed to get a colonoscopy. But you haven't. Here are your reasons:

1. You've been busy.

2. You don't have a history of cancer in your family.

3. You haven't noticed any problems.

4. You don't want a doctor to stick a tube 17,000 feet up your butt.

Let's examine these reasons one at a time. No, wait, let's not. Because you and I both know that the only real reason is No. 4. This is natural. The idea of having another human, even a medical human, becoming deeply involved in what is technically known as your ''behindular zone'' gives you the creeping willies.

I know this because I am like you, except worse. I yield to nobody in the field of being a pathetic weenie medical coward. I become faint and nauseous during even very minor medical procedures, such as making an appointment by phone. It's much worse when I come into physical contact with the medical profession. More than one doctor's office has a dent in the floor caused by my forehead striking it seconds after I got a shot.

In 1997, when I turned 50, everybody told me I should get a colonoscopy. I agreed that I definitely should, but not right away. By following this policy, I reached age 55 without having had a colonoscopy. Then I did something so pathetic and embarrassing that I am frankly ashamed to tell you about it.

What happened was, a giant 40-foot replica of a human colon came to Miami Beach. Really. It's an educational exhibit called the Colossal Colon, and it was on a nationwide tour to promote awareness of colo-rectal cancer. The idea is, you crawl through the Colossal Colon, and you encounter various educational items in there, such as polyps, cancer and hemorrhoids the size of regulation volleyballs, and you go, ''Whoa, I better find out if I contain any of these things,'' and you get a colonoscopy.

If you are as a professional humor writer, and there is a giant colon within a 200-mile radius, you are legally obligated to go see it. So I went to Miami Beach and crawled through the Colossal Colon. I wrote a column about it, making tasteless colon jokes. But I also urged everyone to get a colonoscopy. I even, when I emerged from the Colossal Colon, signed a pledge stating that I would get one.

But I didn't get one. I was a fraud, a hypocrite, a liar. I was practically a member of Congress.

Five more years passed. I turned 60, and I still hadn't gotten a colonoscopy. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I got an e-mail from my brother Sam, who is 10 years younger than I am, but more mature. The email was addressed to me and my middle brother, Phil. It said:

``Dear Brothers,

``I went in for a routine colonoscopy and got the dreaded diagnosis: cancer. We're told it's early and that there is a good prognosis that they can get it all out, so, fingers crossed, knock on wood, and all that. And of course they told me to tell my siblings to get screened. I imagine you both have.''

Um. Well.

First I called Sam. He was hopeful, but scared. We talked for a while, and when we hung up, I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis. Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, ``HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BUTT!''

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called ''MoviPrep,'' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes -- and here I am being kind -- like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, ''a loose watery bowel movement may result.'' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, ''What if I spurt on Andy?'' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the hell the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was Dancing Queen by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, Dancing Queen has to be the least appropriate.

''You want me to turn it up?'' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.

''Ha ha,'' I said.

And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, Abba was shrieking ``Dancing Queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine . . .''

. . . and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

But my point is this: In addition to being a pathetic medical weenie, I was a complete moron. For more than a decade I avoided getting a procedure that was, essentially, nothing. There was no pain and, except for the MoviPrep, no discomfort. I was risking my life for nothing.

If my brother Sam had been as stupid as I was -- if, when he turned 50, he had ignored all the medical advice and avoided getting screened -- he still would have had cancer. He just wouldn't have known. And by the time he did know -- by the time he felt symptoms -- his situation would have been much, much more serious. But because he was a grown-up, the doctors caught the cancer early, and they operated and took it out. Sam is now recovering and eating what he describes as ''really, really boring food.'' His prognosis is good, and everybody is optimistic, fingers crossed, knock on wood, and all that.

Which brings us to you, Mr. or Mrs. or Miss or Ms. Over-50-And-Hasn't-Had-a-Colonoscopy. Here's the deal: You either have colo-rectal cancer, or you don't. If you do, a colonoscopy will enable doctors to find it and do something about it. And if you don't have cancer, believe me, it's very reassuring to know you don't. There is no sane reason for you not to have it done.

I am so eager for you to do this that I am going to induce you with an Exclusive Limited Time Offer. If you, after reading this, get a colonoscopy, let me know by sending a self-addressed stamped envelope to Dave Barry Colonoscopy Inducement, The Miami Herald, 1 Herald Plaza, Miami, FL 33132. I will send you back a certificate, signed by me and suitable for framing if you don't mind framing a cheesy certificate, stating that you are a grown-up who got a colonoscopy. Accompanying this certificate will be a square of limited-edition custom-printed toilet paper with an image of Miss Paris Hilton on it. You may frame this also, or use it in whatever other way you deem fit.

But even if you don't want this inducement, please get a colonoscopy. If I can do it, you can do it. Don't put it off. Just do it.

Be sure to stress that you want the non-Abba version.

(The preceding nonsense was stolen from an article written by humorist Dave Barry without permission. It has been circulating the internet via e-mail, etc. since it was published in 2008. I feel it is a great way to share with all of you how important it is to look after your health. So please, if you are 50 or older, and have not already done so, get a colonoscopy today. Your backside will thank you. And think about this: if you get colon cancer, one thing that they will do is stick a needle into the sphincter called your rectum. The very thought of that makes me cringe. How about you?)

Also know that if you can keep your prostate intact, and in good working order, you won't have problems peeing or sexual performance. Once that puppy is gone, all bets are off.

Now one or two or three more from Ronnie.

[video=youtube;myhJA2xNsNs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myhJA2xNsNs[/video]

​

 

[Racer X 69]

[video=youtube;He_VM4G1liU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He_VM4G1liU&feature=related[/video]

 

[Racer X 69]

[video=youtube;lUeuAnMNDhA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUeuAnMNDhA&feature=related[/video]

 

[boone315]

Indeed. A life that ended way too soon. He was only 64.

I know this is off topic, and the subject seems to be one far too many men avoid.

But prostate cancer does not have to be a death sentence. Get screened for it. Regularly. Once a man turns 50 the first thing he should do (after drinking 50 beers of course) is get the colonoscopy.

You know, the procedure described here:



(The preceding nonsense was stolen from an article written by humorist Dave Barry without permission. It has been circulating the internet via e-mail, etc. since it was published in 2008. I feel it is a great way to share with all of you how important it is to look after your health. So please, if you are 50 or older, and have not already done so, get a colonoscopy today. Your backside will thank you. And think about this: if you get colon cancer, one thing that they will do is stick a needle into the sphincter called your rectum. The very thought of that makes me cringe. How about you?)

​

I watched an interview on That Metal Show with Dio's wife, she said that she had an appointment set up that he had to cancel and if he had went, they would have discovered it in time.

 

[boone315]

I try to get mine done on a regular basis, but those strippers at Alpine in Syracuse just don't seem to know what they are looking for.

 

[Keendriver]

Indeed. A life that ended way too soon. He was only 64.

I know this is off topic, and the subject seems to be one far too many men avoid.

But prostate cancer does not have to be a death sentence. Get screened for it. Regularly. Once a man turns 50 the first thing he should do (after drinking 50 beers of course) is get the colonoscopy.

You know, the procedure described here:



(The preceding nonsense was stolen from an article written by humorist Dave Barry without permission. It has been circulating the internet via e-mail, etc. since it was published in 2008. I feel it is a great way to share with all of you how important it is to look after your health. So please, if you are 50 or older, and have not already done so, get a colonoscopy today. Your backside will thank you. And think about this: if you get colon cancer, one thing that they will do is stick a needle into the sphincter called your rectum. The very thought of that makes me cringe. How about you?)

Also know that if you can keep your prostate intact, and in good working order, you won't have problems peeing or sexual performance. Once that puppy is gone, all bets are off.

Now one or two or three more from Ronnie.

[video=youtube;myhJA2xNsNs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myhJA2xNsNs[/video]

​

So I gotta be the one to comment on this?

Racer follows up the Dave Barry column with "Blood Alley"

Nobody else saw this????

Weak....effin Weak!!!

 

[boone315]

Pantera is releasing a new single, WTF!!!! Must be Dimebag's death was a big hoax??? His brother was talking about a reunion with Zakk filling Dimebag's shoes,,,that would be awesome.


http://www.metalhammer.co.uk/news/pantera-****-artwork-unveiled/?ns_service=mail&ns_robot=partner-Adestra&ns_campaign=1485&ns_source=Adestra&ns_mchannel=email-n&ns_linkname=Pantera%3A%20%22New%22%20Single%20Artwork%20Unveiled&ns_fee=0&ns_recipient=boone315%40aol.com&ns_mail_uid=79&ns_mail_job=2130

 

[boone315]

View attachment 6094
View attachment 6094

 

[Duck]

Pantera is releasing a new single, WTF!!!! Must be Dimebag's death was a big hoax??? His brother was talking about a reunion with Zakk filling Dimebag's shoes,,,that would be awesome.

When I was a teenager I had a 1983 Honda Shadow 750.

The bike had been custom painted when I got it, so the only place where it said "Honda" on it was on the fork under the headlight, and on the engine case.

I had Pantera stickers on the tank and on the back of the sissy bar. I always gotta laugh when I remember how many times dumb teenage girls thought Pantera was the brand name of the bike. (and how many thought it was a Harley before I put the stickers on it)

 

[severina]

DISSECTION (yes that includes Reinkaos)
Amon Amarth
Desaster
Destroyer 666
Blut Aus Nord
Bloodbath
Tyr
Panzergod
Primordial
some Absu
Korpiklaani
Pest
Gorgoroth
Carpathian Forest
old Slayer
Darkthrone
Manowar (the viking era stuff more than the old rebel rock stuff)
Bathory
Burzum
Mayhem
Emperor
Wintersun
Taake
Storm
some Sabaton
Mithotyn
Unanimated
Watain
Naglfar
Windir
Ensiferum
Moonsorrow
Nifelheim
Judas Iscariot
Graveland
Gehennah (lol)
Horna
Immolation
Manegarm
Catamenia
Beatrik
Satyricon (pre-Volcano)
Exhumed
old Vital Remains
Dying Fetus
Mor Dagor

I still like some new-kid mainstream metal, like Dark Funeral, CoF (last one I heard and liked was Cruelty and the Beast, though), Dimmu Borgir (yes even the remastered Stormblast), Cannibal Corpse, and I'll even listen to some Pantera once in awhile to take me back to age 14. And I do like goofy metal, like Alestorm and Mercyful Fate.

Also like classical music, but not the highpitched happy ****, I like deep mournful music like Bach, Wagner, Shostakovich. And some classic rock - Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath.. and I'm a sucker for certain oldies songs. And some bands that are hard to classify, such as:
Type O Negative
Danzig
Misfits
Acid Bath
Deadboy & the Elephantment
Agents of Oblivion
Dax Riggs solo stuff (some)
Flogging Molly
Nekromantix
Eire Og
Fitz and the Tantrums
Wednesday 13
My Dying Bride
The Murderdolls

And my share of grungy alternative bands that make me nostalgic, like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, For Love Not Lisa, NIN, I should really get back to work now.

 

[Duck]

DISSECTION Amon Amarth Desaster Destroyer 666 Blut Aus Nord Bloodbath Tyr Panzergod Primordial some Absu Korpiklaani Pest Gorgoroth Carpathian Forest old Slayer Darkthrone Manowar Bathory Burzum Mayhem Emperor Wintersun Taake Storm some Sabaton Mithotyn Unanimated Watain Naglfar Windir Ensiferum Moonsorrow Nifelheim Judas Iscariot Graveland Gehennah (lol) Horna Immolation Manegarm Catamenia Beatrik Satyricon (pre-Volcano) Exhumed old Vital Remains Dying Fetus Mor Dagor

Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em

 

[severina]

DISSECTION Amon Amarth Desaster Destroyer 666 Blut Aus Nord Bloodbath Tyr Panzergod Primordial some Absu Korpiklaani Pest Gorgoroth Carpathian Forest old Slayer Darkthrone Manowar Bathory Burzum Mayhem Emperor Wintersun Taake Storm some Sabaton Mithotyn Unanimated Watain Naglfar Windir Ensiferum Moonsorrow Nifelheim Judas Iscariot Graveland Gehennah (lol) Horna Immolation Manegarm Catamenia Beatrik Satyricon (pre-Volcano) Exhumed old Vital Remains Dying Fetus Mor Dagor

Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em Never heard of 'em

It's ok. Most people haven't. I meet maybe one out of every 25 people that even know these genres exist, and of those that do, most can't stand the music.

 

[Duck]

It's ok. Most people haven't. I meet maybe one out of every 25 people that even know these genres exist, and of those that do, most can't stand the music.

Is it that stuff that's always playing in Abby's laboratory on NCIS?

 

[severina]

Is it that stuff that's always playing in Abby's laboratory on NCIS?

Oh barf. No. No. If I'm thinking of the person you mean, she appears to me to be some sort of goth person. Goth people generally listen to whiny goth rock or boring industrial/ambient music. And - to me, mind you - they look silly and they're whiny and helpless.

I do get mistaken for a goth all the time because I generally wear all black, and since most people aren't in the habit of hanging around us weirdos I try not to fault anyone for not being knowledgeable about the half-dozen subgenres that all wear black but are very different and usually hate each other.

If you're curious, youtube is ever ready and willing to serve.
Destroyer 666 - Eternal Glory of War (Aussie black metal)
Dissection - Night's Blood (old school Swedish black metal)
Tyr - Hold the Heathen Hammer High (folk metal)
Manowar - Die With Honor (classic Viking metal)
Amon Amarth - Gods of War Arise (Norse-themed melodic death metal)
Bloodbath - Eaten (diet death metal)
Vital Remains - Dechristianize (thrashy death metal)
Immolation - No Jesus No Beast (straight up death metal)
Storm - Mellom Bakkar Og Berg (Norse folk music)

Chances are you won't really like those. But I've found a lot of people like some of the bands I listen to.
Flogging Molly is dirty Irish folk punk, but these days most people know who they are. They're great for getting your blood flowing. Check out Tobacco Island and The Likes of You Again.

Or Eire Og's version of Go On Home British Soldiers.

If you like bluesy stuff, try Dax Riggs - Grave Dirt on my Blue Suede Shoes or Dead Boy and the Elephantment - Stop, I'm Already Dead.

If you're the Abby fan, there are a couple of bands some goths like that I also like, My Dying Bride and Type O Negative. Type O covered Jimi Hendrix's (I think) Hey Joe, only theirs is Hey Pete. They also covered Light My Fire by the Doors and Summer Breeze by whoever. Some of their best original songs IMHO that non-metallers might enjoy are My Girlfriend's Girlfriend and a long but enjoyable song called "Unsuccessfully Coping with the Natural Beauty of Infidelity (I Know You're ****ing Someone Else)".

If you like morbid modernized oldies, try Wednesday 13 - I Walked with a Zombie. And if you're the person who had the emotionally starved ex girlfriend, check out the song Home Sweet Homicide. lol

I realize I sound like a total nerd babbling endlessly about music, but it's my passion. Music and Norse mythology. Hail metal/Hail Odin. \m/

 

[severina]

Oh yeah, and I also like one country song: Willie Nelson - On the Road Again. Cause it's my favorite place to be

 

[Duck]

.......Music and Norse mythology.....

Here's where Norse mythology and music merge together. Lots of people think this is the Star Wars theme or something.

 

[severina]

Here's where Norse mythology and music merge together. Lots of people think this is the Star Wars theme or something.

I absolutely adore Wagner's music. It's so deep and thunderous. If he were alive today he'd be a metaller \m/

These days metal is where Norse mythology and music come together.

 

[Duck]

I like this instrumental. Stratovarius is from Finland.



Their version of Greensleeves is pretty cool. After the first few seconds anyway.



Here's a guitar and a keyboard working together to produce something kick-ass. I just like the mellower middle part though, starting around 1:42.