@mndriver
I have never said that it's JUST truckers who are gone while providing for their families. But this is a trucker forum and a couple of questions were asked and I answered them through MY personal experience. Obviously, if the gentlemen asked questions about other types of jobs that required traveling - salesmen, gov't jobs, etc., I would not have responded, as I have zero experience in those areas.
All individuals are different. All relationships are different. I had an aunt whose husband was a salesman and gone a lot and they were married for over 40 years.
I had a brother in law who was a salesman and his marriage did not last two years. I've also had family members who were military - some marriages lasted their lifetime and others ended early on. Same career styles - different individuals - different marriages - different endings. It's not a "one size fits all". It's about the individuals and their relationships.
As for my "bitterness" as for living in the truck for the last 4 years, I was obvoously unclear that that's with the COMPANY, not my husband. When a company sits a driver in a gravel lot with zero facilities for hours on end with zero regard for a driver. After having to "hold it" for 11 hours one day shortly after I got into the truck (I then bought a bucket which I have to use quite often). And bitterness can arise when night after night for several nights in a row many times that we HAVE to sit in gravel lots (due to being run out of hours) and have to go days without a shower. My husband also tends to get bitter when he hasn't been able to shower for days. Not all drivers are lucky enough to be able to use a toilet and shower daily. You know, the glamorous things that nobody tells others about.
I wrote a very lengthy comment to "finish up" my story but have decided I do not want it posted on a public forum. At least not while we are out on the road anyways.
We've known each other for nearly 38 years and have been married for over 34. We have had many good times in our marriage and family life. When one is younger we don't think about how fast time really does fly and are focused on just being able to get through life to the best of our abilities. As we get older however, and begin to look back some of us can and do have regrets because we wish we knew more and may have been able to do things differently. My husband has regrets too as his career path altered his life as well as our relationship and family life tremendously also. But we cannot go back and change things and will never get those lost years back. All we can do now is to focus on what we do have left and to make the best of it. Each day brings us another day closer to our final day and my husband's health has declined tremendously (especially for the first several mos before I got into the truck) since going back otr (nothing that affects his driving) and he has no health insurance. I make sure he eats somewhat properly and drinks things other than just coffee so he won't get dehydrated and calm him down when he is overly stressed or upset.
My husband is the high strung one in our relationship and I'm the pretty easy going one. When the company tries to screw him over and HE starts to get upset I am the one who calms him down. I do not "chide" my husband and I'm truly disappointed at myself in making it appear that way on my thread or comments. He's a very hard worker and I'm very proud of his great work ethic, squeaky clean mvr, csa score, criminal background, etc.
Bottom line: My answers to the questions posed were to just let newcomers know that they should really find out everything they can and KNOW what they're getting into because it CAN and DOES alter lives. Unfortunately, there was no internet or trucking forums back then and all "we" had to rely on were tv ads, cdl schools, and recruiters.
We have well over a 37 year history. OUR GOAL now is to have as much time for ourselves, our children, and our grandchildren.
I am truly, truly sorry that your ex-wife did that to you and had hurt you so badly, I truly am. NOBODY deserves to be treated like that and ESPECIALLY not from ones own wife. My husband has heard similar stories as well. I'm sure that has left deep scars that will last a very long time and I truly hope that those scars can and will lessen over time.
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