@Coach
My original post comes from a comment I left for another member who was basically asking and looking for honest answers about the affects on marriage and family life before he considers taking the plunge into trucking school. He's looking for the truth on how it may affect his marriage. But not all people are the same and not all marriages are the same so the effects on everyone's marriages are also different.
@mklong34
how many members here are married? any tips? words of wisdom? I want to do this for my family and better their lives and at the same time i dont want this to tear it apart. i really hope to hear from those that have a family waiting at home and make it work. thanks!
as well as another member
@rabbidchicken who is considering driving and asking questions.
As a long term wife (34 1/2 years) of a long term trucker (24 years), and as a wife who has lived in the truck with my husband for the past 4 years, I gave my honest opinion as a wife of someone who was also looking to better our family's lives. I have NO DOUBT that the reason my husband got into trucking was to better our lives, not tear it apart.
Someone else suggested that I start my own thread - and so I did.
If I could have just one wish granted, it would be to go back and have my husband choose a different career path other than truck driving school, as neither of us really knew what he was getting into and maybe more people SHOULD KNOW before they take a giant leap that can completely alter their marriages, and entire lives and family life. But I obviously cannot go back no matter how much I wish.
I've never been the type of wife/woman who wanted or needed material THINGS to make me happy. Some of the happiest times in my marriage were when we had practically nothing, ate peanut butter sandwiches together, went for a walk, took the kids to the park to feed the ducks, etc. etc. Things that did not cost any money. But, we were TOGETHER! And TOGETHER we could overcome anything. NOTHING mattered so long as we were TOGETHER - A marriage and family UNIT. A marriage to me was to be of a union between the two of US, not separations. Marriage is of US, of WE.
I grew up in a household where my parents and our family unit were not together and never wanted that for MY life or children. Family unit(ed) was EXTREMELY important to me. Of UTMOST importance, actually. But he was looking for a good way to financially support his family and knowing nothing about this industry, he dove into it and I was behind him 100%. The false ads of 24 years ago are the SAME ADS being spouted and advertised now.
It was extremely difficult and almost unbearable to go from sleeping together nearly every single night for almost 11 years to hugging his pillow while I slept ALONE every night while he was on the road. He got into trucking "for the money" but I DID NOT CARE about the money - and pillows and phone calls never did replace his absence. The money never came anyways, so we were both s.o.l.
Many newcomers to the industry are looking to see what affects it can have on their marriages and family lives BEFORE possibly losing them to the over the road trucking lifeSTYLE and preventing the regrets and resentments and/or divorces.
This is my honest opinion as a wife - as my husband's career choice has been extremely rough for myself and my children and for many other women as well. I STOOD BY my husband's choices all through these years even if deep down inside I did not agree with them. MANY of the marriages end in divorce and that's the TRUTH!
As I get older and wish I could turn back time (so don't many of us, huh? ) I do regret all the YEARS lost in our marriage and family life. These are times we will NEVER get back. I honestly do wish I did not have these regrets, but it's hard to help ones feelings. Feelings that I've always had to cast aside and internalize for a very long time and that come to surface every now and then. I bury them, but they do tend to surface from time to time. I don't like way I feel when these feelings emerge and do hope that I can change this part of me as this has never been the person that I used to be and do not like it when these feelings surface. I've always been a happy, kind, caring, forgiving person and do want and hope to get that part of me back. I know I'm still in there somewhere, I just need to find ME again and try to find a way to get over the regrets and resentments when they creep up on me. But like I said, those are YEARS that I/we will NEVER get back so it's also easier said then done. Keeping most of these feelings buried have also caused my own health issues.
This forum was my chance to get my feelings out so they don't continue to fester deep down.
Not all women feel the same. MANY (but NOT ALL) are strong enough to have a long distance relationship/marriage. But the question was asked and this is MY personal experience so I answered the question. And had I had to live my life over again the same way - Not only no - but HELL NO!!! The brutal truth.
My husband and I HAVE made it work - to a point - and it was not an easy road. But we are still married after over 34 years. Again, this lifestyle is NOT for EVERYONE and a large reason that the divorce rate is so high in the trucking industry. It ALTERS lives.
We are getting old and these last four years in this industry have been very discouraging for BOTH of us. The trucking industry has no doubt changed even much more so than when he first got into it. We've both come to the conclusion that it's time now to get out (very soon) and salvage what we do have left of our relationship BEFORE it's too late and one of us is no longer around.
I've heard too many horror stories about the woman waiting for her husband until he's done with this so they can finally have their lives together again only to have him have a heart attack and die on the road. I do love and want time with my husband and personally do not want to be one of those wives.
Someone was looking for the truth about how trucking may affect a relationship and this has been my views, observations, opinions, experiences, perceptions, and MY TRUTH with no sugar coating.
) park their company trucks at stores near their homes.
. but i'm sure that someone with a clean mvr and 4 yrs exp could get in compared to what there older requirements were. I agree that there having a hard time finding drivers that meet there requirements. with a 130% turn over rate for any industry should tell anyone thinking of entering it no matter what industry it is. wal mart has been advertising a lot on sxm to
