So my Daughter asked to talk

[Tazz]

There is a huge difference between being married, and having a good marriage

 

[Laura725]

Just to be clear she was on the pill when this happened, when she was late she took an EPT and popped positive. She went to the Doctor that afternoon and he told her not to resume taking it and it should not effect the baby. She is now 10 weeks and they have done ultrasounds but it looks like the little guy or gal is like the rest of us, a survivor.

Gotcha!! I read it as she chose to stop taking it. I have a birth control baby myself.

Edit: we were lucky. We turned out to actually like each other. He was a loser himself (working at walmart, even.) but I pushed him to be more and do more and every time he left a job he increased his income and he supports our family wonderfully.

 

[Sunnie Lynn]

That doesn't instill much confidence in my method of birth control.

 

[Tazz]

So my daughter is not the worst daughter out there. Of course her mother (My loving, beautiful wife who is a nice sweet sunny person{I am required to say that whenever I question her vengefullness}) would have beat the living crap out of her by now for this stuff.



There likely isn't a son or daughter in the world who doesn't enjoy needling their long-suffering parents occasionally, but some have got the process of torturing their moms and dads down to an art.

One such daughter is Ohio resident Liz Hammett, 36, who is mother to her own four-year-old son - while also serving as a rather talented tormentor of her own mother.

Liz recently shared a series of texts between her and her mother on Facebook, where they proved to be an incredible online hit, eventually leading to Reddit and racking up more than 200,000 views

Read more: Is this the meanest daughter ever - or just the funniest?
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

 

[Ranger_375]

Oh they should be but my daughter just can not find "that place". You know the palatial estate with wifi, pool, gym, polo field, and free laundry for 250 a month Reality is smacking her in the face real damn hard. Must be a family thing because my son went through it as well. But everything she has found is to small, or to near the nasty part of town, or to far from Starbucks........


By the by Dad's house is in the woods nowhere near any damn Starbucks. But since this is free and the best they have found was 650 a month she suffers through. And no damn way Anus moves in!

Dipshit was over last week. I keep a 12 ga pump on a rack by the front door, just for the Jehovah's Witness', and he picked it up with his booger hook on the damn trigger My daughter yelled at him to put it down before I shot him, damn missed opportunity. ( I am kidding mostly) But he does not have the brains to be near my pack, I have firearms everywhere, and his mellow mushroom look is an offense to the senses.

I am going to start planting the idea @Ranger_375 had. Maybe a haircut and some PT would help. Might have to shanghai the little pucker. Do they still let them sign up after a hard night of drinking? For this boy maybe a Cosmopolitan and a Zima should about do it. By the time he sobers up we can have him on the way to Ft Gordon.

I think he'd be better suited for the Fort Benning school for wayward Boys... The amount of individual attention he'd get from an Infantry Team leader (such as myself) would ensure that your little one (not so little any more) would be taken care of, because I'll be damned if any joe under me was going to be a s**tbag with regards to family affairs. Heck, I made sure even my SAW gunner going through his divorce and subsequent remarriage was on the up and up and squared away. Sorta hard to slip through the cracks of an active duty infantry unit's attention to detail regarding the men.

 

[Tazz]

I think he'd be better suited for the Fort Benning school for wayward Boys... The amount of individual attention he'd get from an Infantry Team leader (such as myself) would ensure that your little one (not so little any more) would be taken care of, because I'll be damned if any joe under me was going to be a s**tbag with regards to family affairs. Heck, I made sure even my SAW gunner going through his divorce and subsequent remarriage was on the up and up and squared away. Sorta hard to slip through the cracks of an active duty infantry unit's attention to detail regarding the men.

Not up on Army basic locations. I thought Ft Gordon was it for the SE but Benning works for me. I did talk to the recruiter when I ran to Harbor Freight today. He smiled and said "No I can not take his oath while he is intoxicated"

Pretty sure the Corps has the same policy. But I did pick up some brochures to leave laying around for him.

 

[Tazz]

Phone rings today.
It's the wife (according to the warning klaxon of her ringtone)
"Brat's fine but she has been in an accident. She pulled out on Hwy 55 and a guy clipped her from behind. Car has a busted bumper that is touching the tire. Cops are here, she says she feels some mild pain in her belly so I am running her to the Doc for a quick check. But she is fine."



"Ok is it her fault? Take friggin pics of the road, the sky, and both cars. Why the hell was she over there, I thought she was at work?"

"She was, she came home the back way for some reason."

"Yep anyone call Anus yet?"

"I asked you to quit calling him that before Brat hears it."

"And I gave it the consideration that it was due. Request denied until he proves to not be an Anus. Did she call him?"

"No she wanted Mom"

"Alright I'll call...."

"No you will not!I'll have her do it"

"Fine. Love you more gotta go Atlanta traffic and all. Call me when the Doc clears her.

"No you don't bye."


Now she calls young shit for brains. You would expect concern, maybe a where are you. Is the baby OK........Nope

Phone rings

"Can I kill him?"

" Probably your aim is pretty good. Remember 2 chest 1 head and near a swamp would be a plus. Whom are we discussing by the way?"

"ANUS!"

Ah from the tone and timber I suspect that might have been a real question now.

"Probably better not. But I am glad we agree now."

"I called him and told him what had happened. Where we were going and all I got was a......."Does that mean she is not bringing me lunch?".......When I drop her of at the house I am going to......


Now at this point my ear hurt so the blue parrot went on the dash. A minute or so later I heard "Are you there?"

"Yes Dear just busy with traffic. Still probably need to keep him alive. But a flesh wound might wake him up"

"Maybe but the lititle ........back away from my ear........


Anyways Doc is gonna watch the heart beat for a few more minutes, but she is fine.Gonna grab Arby's on the way home. AC guys are supposed to be done today......."

"Ok Dear really gotta go. Love ya more I call from the DC."



I am betting Anus is about to find out that nice sweet person that has been saying he'll come around is gonna wack him in the head with a hammer. Repeatedly

Brat is home and fine. Car is probably junk. Rear frame members are bent down and only worth 4k so will probably be totaled.

 

[mndriver]

Cars can be fixed.

Glad the kiddo's are ok.

 

[(((ME)))]

Glad Brat and Baby are okay
Know the stress is hard on the both of you.
Still think wood shed visit would do wonders for what his name.
Sometimes our walks with our adult kids can get pretty rough.

 

[Tazz]

Well he showed up at the hospital Anus that is.....after me and I was in F'ing Florida when I got the call.

Now we wait while Johnny Bench sits and watches my daughters .

I may start drinking again

 

[Blood]

Well he showed up at the hospital Anus that is.....after me and I was in F'ing Florida when I got the call.

Now we wait while Johnny Bench sits and watches my daughters .

I may start drinking again

I need more information to make a ruling.

Was Anus in Toronto, Wisconsin or Illinois when he got the call?

I only ask because those area's seem to have a disproportionate amount of anus's.

Of course, Tennessee isn't far down the list so...


What is this, like, your 14th grandchild?

 

[mndriver]

jeez, has it been 10 months already.,,,,
















@Duck.....

Need to change his avatar.....

 

[Rigjockey]

I need more information to make a ruling.

Was Anus in Toronto

if it was Toronto let me know . Next time he travels

 

[Ranger_375]

Have Etool, will travel

 

[Tazz]

3rd grandkid. 7lbs 13 oz. Looked at the Doc when he popped out with a "Hit me and I am gonna mess you up" let out a squawk and then was quiet while they futzed with him.

Brat and Andrew are fine. Kid showed up and was doing his best to support Brat. I'll get a pic tomorrow.

 

[Blood]

3rd grandkid. 7lbs 13 oz. Looked at the Doc when he popped out with a "Hit me and I am gonna mess you up" let out a squawk and then was quiet while they futzed with him.

Brat and Andrew are fine. Kid showed up and was doing his best to support Brat. I'll get a pic tomorrow.

Was the weight before or after?

I was 9 lbs, 15 ounces.
My mom used to tell people that I weighed 15 ounces after circumcision.

 

[Duck]

Looked at the Doc when he popped out with a "Hit me and I am gonna mess you up" let out a squawk and then was quiet while they futzed with him.

When I was 15 minutes old I was shaking my fists at the doctors.

My dad, of course, had brought his big clumsy 1970's film camera to the ER.

 

[Blood]

When I was 15 minutes old I was shaking my fists at the doctors.

My dad, of course, had brought his big clumsy 1970's film camera to the ER.

View attachment 36579

You don't look a bit different now.

 

[Duck]

I was 9 lbs, 15 ounces.

What do you mean "was"?

You mean you're more than that now?

 

[Injun]

You don't look a bit different now.

Just more whiskers and a little bigger, huh?