I wasn't going to post the long version but......
11/15/12
2 weeks ago I had to go for my D.O.T. physical . All was good until the nurse stuck a measuring tape around my neck . So I have no problem asking question's and quizzed her why we are doing this . She said dot rules had changed and this had been added since last October . Ok , just blew it off and did the ear testing . Everything is cooking along fine until the very last when the Doc handed me a paper that had 25 questions on sleep Sleep Apniea .
The only question on the form I answered yes on was that I do take blood pressure meds . I have been hearing Sleep Apniea stuff so I figured all is cool ........... Then the doc said that he can only issue a 30 day DOT medical for 30 days , I have to go through a sleep test
View attachment 19792 . So in my big boy voice " WHY THE HELL IS THAT ???? " He took a step back and started explaining that that DOT has instituted new rules and I met 3 of 4 new criteria that requires testing .
Of course my 1st question was who pays for that ? he told me " Your Insurance " I didn't hear much after that because I could feel the heat in my face rising . In truck driver language I said .. I guess that piece of paper I spent ten minutes filling out can be used for toilet paper . By that time I notice doors closing and everything getting strangely quiet .
Doc told me your free to go and left the room . Gal at the desk said that the testing outfit would call me tomorrow to schedule the testing . I regret growling at her but said " That figures , Grab all the cash you can . You and DOT will turn this into a cash cow " .
I get back to the shop and proceed to tell the boss what had transpired . He was as ****ed as I was . Said that he would call the big office and see what this was about . The big office called back and said that it's on the up and up , But I didn't have to go to them for the testing . It did my heart good to be able to inform them that they would NOT be getting any insurance money from me .
Went to my doc and he set everything up right here in town ( the other testing place was 40 miles from home) . So I go today to see if I'm going to be saddled with a machine every night .
Oh , The standards are ;
1 Belt line more than 36 inches
2 Neck measurement more than 17 inches
3 Body mass index
4 Blood pressure meds
I am some what claustrophobic so the machine is a concern from the very start . But with all my kicking and screaming I do have to say this , Every person that is on the machine (And that includes A very trusted Voice here) said that it was the best money they had spent on themselves in years . I honestly haven't heard a single voice against them .
So I have decided to go thru this with an open mind . Better get going , Have to be there at 8:00
11/16/12
Showed up at 8:00 pm sharp , The gal at the desk was the whole show . Pretty nice to deal with . So after the 300 pages of forms , photo copies of insurance card and releases to fill out she told me it would take an hour to "Wire me" Huh ? an hour ? she said yep . Asked if I brought sleep clothes i said "Nope ' I'm sleeping just like I do at home ...No clothes " The look on her face was precious . Took her a second for her face to quit glowing red .
I had wires to both legs , I had wire to my sides just above the belt , Had wires hooked to chest , Had wires hooked to my forehead and a bunch planted at the back of my head . These all connected to a 6 by 6 inch junction block that in turn plugged into what looked to be at least a 64 pin plug . Told her that if I pee the bed , just mail the charred remains home in an envelope .
Then the last two wires were hooked up . One looked like it had 4 red LED lights and that was taped to my finger . Then the The most wonderful wire was saved for last . She said it was to measure airflow , I think she's the devils daughter . she draped the wire over my ears . Where the wires came together in front of my face was a plastic connector with what looked at 1st glance was two straight pins sticking out of it and a little hook out of the bottom . She then proceeded to inform me that the 2 straight pins go up my nose and the hook wire go's in front of my mouth . All of the was to measure air flow . Last but not least was two Velcro belts , One above the magic buttons and one around my petite belly .
After that she told me to sit still for a moment so she could tell if everything was working . I'm sitting there wondering if joking with this gal was wise . She came back in and announced that everything was working the 1st time around . Like she had just gotten it completely right for the 1st time . HUH??
After which I'm told " Time for bed " ... I just giggled , I try to stand and one of the leg wires get under my foot but the gorilla glue holds tight . Finally with her help hanging to to all the spaghetti I manage to get to the edge of the bed and sit down just long enough to figure out I needed to head for the outhouse . Bathroom was 10 steps away , Turned in to a 10 minute ordeal . This may gross some people out but I did not wash my hands when done for fear of the bug zapper effect . Finally got back to the bed and laid back while she tucked and fiddled with the wires .
Took all of 30 seconds to figure out I was laying on a Brick . Oh , One more thing . All this is being videoed . She tells me that I can adjust the bed ...Cool . I played with the controls . Got it adjusted to plywood .
She said I will watch you from another room and I will be able to hear you so if you need anything . Just speak out ..... Now I'm scared to fart . Then she tells me that I need to do some movements for her and shut the door . Umm Okay . A speaker that had been placed behind my head said , "OK DAVE I NEED YOU TO MOVE YOUR FEET" . If she had done that earlier it would have saved me a trip to the outhouse ! So I moved blinked and breathed deep on command . I couldn't help thinking satan's daughter was having fun with this .
So I laid there flat on my back , I never sleep on my back . Every move tugged on a wire . I must be allergic to the soap they wash the bed clothes in , Because in less than 5 minutes my sinuses plugged up tight . Felt like an hour before I drifted off . Then the speaker popped on "DAVE I NEED TO COME IN AND CHECK ONE OF THE WIRES" . On came the 5 gazillion candle power light . Couple of seconds later she said I need another sensor pad . Then just without any warning , Ripped the old one off . WOW!! . Stuck the new one on and left . I'm wide awake .
By then my back is aching from laying on my back so I just threw caution to the wind and rolled over . Felt like after another hour I drifted off . About 3:00 am it was a trip to the outhouse AGAIN . Took forever but back to sleep .
At 4:30 am she came thru the speaker 'DAVE , TIME TO GET UP .ALL DONE !
I get set up , "Let's get those wire off" . Music to me ears . So I'm thinking I can get done here and stop for breakfast some where and have plenty of time to myself . Then she started pulling wires and sensor pads off . She just turned into satan himself . The gorilla glue works . The ones on my hairy chest were a pure delight . Told me it's best to give a quick pull but the to worst one she lost hold of them and hit those spot twice . She has enough of my DNA to get me convicted of anything .
The ones in my hair (What little there is) didn't go to bad . That was the last of them .But wait, There's more . The sensors on my head were glued on with a different stuff . The little gal told me that I may need to wash my head with dish washing soap to get it all out . HUMMMMMMMMM , Maybe I need to look , When I looked in the bathroom mirror I saw what looked like snot balls on my head and in my hair .Made a mad dash to home to shower that stuff out . Acted a lot like wax . Took a while , Made it to work right on the button .
So , What is the outcome ?? Inconclusive !!!!!! Said she saw only "4 events" . They need to see 30 or more to say for sure . So I was told there are 3 normal outcomes for this . They could say I'm good and that's it , Could require a retest or could make me do a night wired backup with a CPAP machine .....Bottom line is nothing is settled and my DOT health card expires dec 1st
11/26/12
Called the doc last Tuesday and asked what was up . Gal at the desk said the report hasn't come back yet . Told the office gal "I'll call back tomorrow" . Wednesday still no report , She said the holiday weekend is probably part of it . She's right but I really just want this to be done and settled .... Thought about calling this morning but the big boss wanted some conveyor parts moved 1st thing .
Things slowed down and got some time and I called about 2:00 pm . "We have the results and umm they want you do a sleep test with the machine overnight" ..... Not what I wanted to hear . She said the tech that read the study saw pretty severe apnea toward the end of the test . Which I 1/2 believe because I know I didn't sleep until late in the test .
THEN she said it would be 3 weeks ... I did tell her that would make it hard to pay the doctor because I will be unemployed by then . So This next Thursday I will experience round two of a sleepless test .
12/1/12
Well , Last night was all about the machine . This is in my future without a doubt . Same gal as last time . " I remember you " was what I heard as a walked in . Didn't know weather to run or duck . Signed Paper work for my donation to the new west wing ... Again !
She started explaining about the machine and what it does . I didn't have the heart to tell her I had been online for HOURS and read about it and been talking to guys who are already on a cpap for months . She did tell me that the cpap she was using here was controllable from her desk and computer .
She started the wiring process . Seemed like it took long than last time . When she got to my head I mentioned something about the snot balls and she giggled like a girl . Think they were bigger this time . Last time the wires were a tad too tight and felt them tugging at every move and asked if she could leave some extra slack .
Knowing what I was in for and not sleeping good I stayed up late for 2 days ahead . Midnight on Tuesday and 1:00 am on Wednesday . Of course Wednesday I wound up setting roof trusses for 10 hours . So I believe it's going to be easy to to sleep . Was wore slap out . Little did I know ....
The tech then tells me that she has 3 masks we will try to she which I can get along with . Told her what ever we wind up with I ain't shaving my whiskers , No one will ever see both my chins . Wired I set on the edge of the bed and she drags out the 1st one . Its a nasal mask , It is soft rubber / vinyl and butts against against your nostrils . Totally uncomfortable . Then the air compressor was cranked up . Instantly it felt like my nose inflated twice its normal size . I shook my head no and she said that it was the least popular .
On to the second , It was a nose mask . Completely covered my nose only . Thought this might just work . Fired the thing up and was weird but doable .. I thought , Then she asked a question . When I tried to answer her the air bypassed thru my mouth with enough force to suck air out of me . This satan-ette was trying to suck out my soul . Took me by surprise and I nearly hit panic mode .
3rd was was a full mask , Covered my mouth and nose . That I can live with . So I laid back while she fiddles with wires . Last thing she said was after you go to sleep I with slowly increase the pressure . I will start at 5 and go to 20 . Tired and uncomfortable it still takes what feels like 30 minutes to pass out .
Remember the extra slack I asked for with the wires ? I now know why she didn't do that last time , Woke up with the dang wire wrapped up around and between my toes ... I hate stuff between my toes !! Reached down and cocked my leg a bit pulled the wire out and a lower leg cramp hit . Bet that looked good on the video . Did notice the pressure was higher .
Don't know how long it took but back out .
I started dreaming that I driving my pickup some where and I have the vent window opened just a bit and like normal it was doing that annoying whistling thing . Then that football stadium speaker popped on and she said I'll be right there . Seems I rolled over and tweaked the mask and it was doing the whistling and blowing into my right eye . I grabbed it and wiggled it around and some piece popped off in my hand . Had to take all that gear off my head to put the piece back in place . It was outhouse time by then anyway so that turned into a 15 minute deal . Settled back down and now the pressure is at 20 (What ever that means) I now know why a dog will try to bite your face off when you blow in his face .
Made it till 5:00 am and the test was over . Was informed that the test went good . Pretty tough for me to say so I'll take her word for it . Drove like a mad mad to the house to get rid of the snot balls then to work with a few minutes to spare .
12/2/12
Here's another kicker ..... 30 day med card expired Friday .
More than likely the doc won't see the results for a week or 10 days (Yep , they are that backed up doing this testing).
Contacted the med clinic that started this whole mess to start with and as long as they get something from my doc in writing saying the testing is ongoing they would issue another 30 day med card .
Sooo , Docs office opens at 9:00 am . He won't show up till 10:30ish , Then drive to town and deal with the clinic ... My day will be shot . Hopefully this will be the only day I lose over this .
12/3/12
Getting the paper work rounded up did work and I have another 30 day med card .
It was close to 11:00 when the office gals and My doc brought out what I need paper work wise . Then a 50 minute ride to town . That group was busy but took time to read every word . Called the doc in and he read every word . got home at 2:00 .
Now I have to wait while the latest test results come in .
A line was crossed today , I lost a days work .
12/6/12
It's official , Gal called from the doc's office and a CPAP machine will be coming home . Someone is suppose to call and set something up . Was even told what the pressure will be .
12/10/12
Doctors office called and wanted to know if it was ok to give my cell number to the medical supply house . Hour later they called . Sexy sounding "Jennifer" talked to me . I wanted to know price tags but was told my insurance would cover the biggest part . I asked about the the amount of time it would be on lease . Told her there was no need to lease it when I'm going to be stuck with it .
She knew where I was going . She told me that my insurance company was a good one to deal with because it can be paid for after just a week so your can claim it this year so I don't have satisfy next years deductible .
Insurance company has to contact me so I can answer a few questions for them and maybe have the machine by Thursday ....Then a tech will bring it to the house and introduce me to it .
Asked sexy sounding "Jennifer" if she was the tech , "No but
he will take good care of you" ..... Dangit !!