"Professional Company" Offer
- Thread starter qwaynick
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Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
I was empty in Chicago, & was going to go home, but they told me to pick up a load & go park somewhere & wait for a guy who wasn't able to get unloaded quickly enough to pick that load up before the shipper closed. So I went & got that guy's load & was told to wait for him at the Hugo Chavez truck stop (Now a BP) on Pershing in Chicago.
I was waiting for that guy for 3 hours, and during those 3 hours (in broad daylight) I had 6 lot lizards approach the truck. I shoo'ed them all away. But the last one was the funniest.
I was sitting in the drivers seat talking to a friend on the phone, and wasn't really paying attention to what was going on outside the truck. All of a sudden in my peripheral vision I noticed someone approaching the truck. I was waiting for an old gray haired guy, according to dispatch, so I looked over to see if it was him.
It was this woman probably in her 40's or 50's, skinny, black hair with gray mixed in, and the nastiest looking thing I'd ever seen. EVER. She looked like a corpse. And I'm not exaggerating at all. She actually resembled former attorney general Janet Reno. If Janet Reno died, and her corpse was left lying face-up in the middle of a desert for 3 weeks, ... her rotting corpse would look just like that lot lizard that was approaching my truck. It almost looked like she was wearing a Halloween mask. It was kind of startling, and I said to my friend on the phone "OMFG YOU SHOULD SEE THIS NASTY-ASS LOT LIZARD, SHE'S THE UGLIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN, SHE LOOKS LIKE A ****ING ZOMBIE OR SOMETHING".
Well I had forgotten that my window was rolled all the way down. She heard me say that and did a complete 180 & went back towards wherever she came from.
About a month later I was empty & had just gotten the trailer washed out at Tulsa Power at Ashland & Pershing & was headed down Pershing towards the Dan Ryan to go home for the weekend & I saw that same lot lizard standing on a corner about a block away from that Hugo Chavez truck stop & she was looking right at the windshield of the truck with this smile on her face, wiggling her hips, trying to "advertise". I was laughing and hoping the next traffic light stayed green.
AlexGramm
Well-Known Member
When I started to ride with my father we had a case. It was a truck KAMAZ (******). Our rear axle asked to repair the road. We stopped near road cafe. We started work. Two lizards to come to us. They were pretty.
One said my father, "Hey, driver, I want to play on your a pipe." My father said, "No, thank you." The lizard turned to me, "Hey, young ...". I raised my hands, they had the lube. The second lizard said, "Hey, companion, look at their hands. They can not touch our breasts." I and my father laughed. Lizards are gone quickly.
But I worry. I see lizards, young girls often. They are asking to buy them vodka and eat. And they say, hey guy you want me? I buy food and say no. They are unhappy.
One said my father, "Hey, driver, I want to play on your a pipe." My father said, "No, thank you." The lizard turned to me, "Hey, young ...". I raised my hands, they had the lube. The second lizard said, "Hey, companion, look at their hands. They can not touch our breasts." I and my father laughed. Lizards are gone quickly.
But I worry. I see lizards, young girls often. They are asking to buy them vodka and eat. And they say, hey guy you want me? I buy food and say no. They are unhappy.
Duck
Sarcastic remark goes here
At that same Citgo truck stop in Chicago, same day I think, .. the first lot lizard that bugged me was an old granny. I was out of the truck, getting un-hooked from the trailer to wait for that old timer who was going to bring me his empty trailer.
This old granny, at first she was just acting homeless. Said she was hungry & needed money for food. I have her $5. She was probably 75-80 yrs old, and looked just like the kind of granny you'd help across the street or something. She seemed grateful for the $5 dollar bill, but then she said she felt guilty for taking my $5 without giving me a BJ. I had a really difficult time keeping a straight face. I just said "no, that's ok".
She walked away & came back a few minutes later just to say thanks again & she was carrying a plastic bag with a loaf of bread in it. So she did use the $5 for food but I was still amazed. She seemed like a normal, typical old grandmother type until she offered me a BJ.
I guess that's just how it works in Chicago,
This old granny, at first she was just acting homeless. Said she was hungry & needed money for food. I have her $5. She was probably 75-80 yrs old, and looked just like the kind of granny you'd help across the street or something. She seemed grateful for the $5 dollar bill, but then she said she felt guilty for taking my $5 without giving me a BJ. I had a really difficult time keeping a straight face. I just said "no, that's ok".
She walked away & came back a few minutes later just to say thanks again & she was carrying a plastic bag with a loaf of bread in it. So she did use the $5 for food but I was still amazed. She seemed like a normal, typical old grandmother type until she offered me a BJ.
I guess that's just how it works in Chicago,
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