Let’s see if I remember this run-
So back as a company driver, couple months in, I’m sitting in the office fixing my log book or something. There’s 3 or 4 office staff chatting away in the other room.
“Can we send Bill?”
“Nah, his wife’s sick, he won’t go”
“Andrew?”
“Nope, he said never again, not up there”
“John?”
“Nope, not before Christmas he has a family”
Like in the movies all of them turned their head slowly and looked at me...in unison, slow motion and kind of creepily...
“What about the new guy?”
“Hey, new guy, wanna go to Labrador? You gotta deliver before Christmas”
Labrador? In winter?
Eh. Fuck it. Let’s go. Where am I going?
So, a senior driver starts giving me some pointers. The wooden bridges are fine to drive on, you’re not that heavy
Wooden bridges???
The caribou like to sleep on the pavement before you come into town, they like to lick the salt off the roads
Caribou???
Last fuel is in Baie Comeau in Quebec, that’s it for 1000 miles
Wait, what??
Also, the roads leading up to the dams are pretty steep and winding, you need to do....oh never mind, you’re driving a manual truck FORGET EVERYTHING I JUST SAID ABOUT AUTOMATIC trucks climbing hills in the winter
10-4! Consider it forgotten!!!
So. I’ve never driven a big horse in winter before. Not even snowflakes. I had a short run before leaving for Labrador, for some reason I ended up dropping the trailer and ran home bobtail in some fresh snow. I called a buddy of mine and we went out bobtail driving around in the snow and shifting just to see what I could learn before I left.
So now, I have some bobtail winter driving experience in the truck I’m taking up. New wiper blades. I have tire chains. I have food, water, a heater, stove, cold weather gear, my atlas, directions...let’s rock this butch!!!
I called the Labrador tourism board. Hey, is there anything I should see while I’m up there? Any attractions or touristy places?
No.
No? What do you mean no? You’re the tourism board for the whole stinking province?
Everything closes in September, sir
Alright cross that off the list...
So I think Christmas Eve was a Wednesday. I think I left on Saturday trying to get up there for Monday or Tuesday. I stopped Saturday night and saw some family, then hit the road nice and early on Sunday.
And the fucking truck broke down by Brockville. Mobile guy said no way is that a quick roadside fix. Called the office, they said they’d send me another truck
I hit the road around 7 am, the other truck didn’t show up until almost 7 pm. Grabbed all my junk and threw it in the other truck....and found out it’s a fucking automatic
Hey!! How do you move this fucking thing??!
I think we got up around Quebec City that night and hit the rack. Got up the next morning and got hit with some slush that the wiper blades just smeared around so badly I pulled over to clean the windshield. Who the fuck was driving this pile? I miss my other truck already
Trying to get a translator in Quebec to find wiper blades was annoying
So we got into Baie Comeau around 3 pm. Found wiper blades. Splashed fuel. Had a shower. Ate supper. Had a nap. Around 11 pm we hit the road again. This is now Monday night, Christmas is fast approaching.
I drove for a few hours, napped, drove, napped, drove, napped...all the way up there. I think I crawled in to town about 8 pm Tuesday night.
No cell service. No radio stations. No nothing. Luckily I could get CBC1 on AM for part of the ride. -30 to -40 the whole way. I think I threw in $2-300 worth of fuel along the way, out of pocket, just to play it safe.
Up at 7 am, went to the receivers.
Oh. We don’t know if we’ll get you empty today, its Christmas Eve.
Where do you want this stuff? I’M NOT SPENDING THE HOLIDAYS UP HERE!
So they sent out an old man and a young lad to help unload. They were moving slower than city workers. So, I started kicking product out in the parking lot. When the pile was too high I pulled the truck ahead and started a new pile. Use guys can put it away later, or not, I don’t care. Sign my bills and let me leave
10:05 am we was empty and heading for Christmas supper.
] banksters, so Whitey has no voice in today's publications. No worries, I'm shotgunning my tales of adventure across the Internet, that way my narratives live forever... or until mankind destroys itself, LOL. 
