Things you think while sitting in traffic...

[Sinister]

"Well, at least I don't have to poop."

"I feel sorry for the poor bastards on the other side who have to poop."

"Boy I'm glad I got an empty bottle."

"I wonder if I can fake a 30 break on the elog..."

"Hey look at that I got a 30 minute break on the elog..."

"Well, now that my break is over...we could get moving again. That would be nice..."

 

[Tazz]

"How come I always get the 400 brood mare next to me?"

"What is the GVWR on a Prius?"

"Wonder if I can make it to those trees and back before they move again?"

 

[Duck]

"If I put it in the bulldog gear & locked the power divider, I wonder how many cars I can push before their combined traction stops my truck"

"I wonder what the car directly in front of me would look like afterwards if I did that?"

"The mainline sewer pipes in a large public bathrooms are not large enough to accommodate every single toilet being flushed at the same time. A coordinated flush of every toilet and urinal would cause the pipes to back up. That's exactly what happens to the interstates in a big city at 5 o'clock. "

 

[Duck]

Years ago I carried a camp stove, little propane bottles, jugs of water & stuff.

I was on I-80 in Pennsylvania in a huge backup due to road construction.

I got the stove off the upper bunk & set it up on the floor behind the shifter & boiled water & cooked spaghetti.

The plan was if traffic suddenly started moving before it was cooked I'd simply pull over on the shoulder.

I reached out the window to dump the water + spaghetti into the colander, draining the boiling water out onto the pavement. I'm sure there were people in cars laughing. But I was hungry and due to the backup, I realized I wouldn't have time to stop at the J in Lamar.

I not only had time to set it all up & cook it, but I ate it in the driver's seat and wiped the pot clean with paper towels and put it all away.

 

[patriciajnsn]

Wow!!!!!!! are they fat I wonder who gets on top of whom.That would suck if my vehicle all of a sudden stalled.

 

[GAnthony]

Things you think while sitting in traffic...

i have to fart, should i chance it?

i want to pick my nose, will the people in the car next to me see that?

i want to just run over everyone, like in the movies, will i get into trouble? they never do in the movies.

 

[Rigjockey]

All these people I see before me are assholes!

 

[Southern Fried]

Years back, I was stuck on the bypass around Boston. All the trucks there were on the CB doing skirt checks and such like as per usual.

Me: Wow, would you look at that now!!!
CB: What????
Me: You won't believe this.
CB: What??? What???
Me: There's a green station wagon creeping by me in the hammer lane. There's a gorgeous redhead laying in the back.... not one dam stitch of clothes on.
CB: WHAT???? You kidding me???
Me: Nup, dead serious.
CB: (dozens of voices) Where you at? What mile marker? Holy S--t. I wanna see!!!
Me: Mile _ , just creeping along. Green SW plate number__. Watch close. Puttin on a show for the guys for sure and panting. Wants somebody to run their hands all over that red hair.
CB: (from the trucks ahead of me) Holy crap, I see it comin. C'mon sweetheart. Come to daddy. (whole bunch of other things). Then..... AWWWW.... you SOB (with laughter).
I did not lie. Prettiest Irish Setter I'd seen in ages.

 

[Injun]

Why do they always pick a creep speed that's right at the shift point between my ranges?

One, one thousand, two, one thousand....(counting seconds between when that idiot who crowded in front of everybody and cut back and forth through lanes got to the exit and when I got there...usually no more that 15).

I wonder whether the lead female character on BlackList was really killed off, or if it's a hook for next season..

 

[Electric Chicken]

Shouldn't have chanced that fart.

 

[Tazz]

Shouldn't have chanced that fart.

TMI

 

[(((ME)))]

I own a mountain of patience....slow to anger.....Give the road driving a healthy respect.
So, when I get in the bumper car game....here are some of my thoughts.

Why did I not choose a off day or hour or even another hwy to miss this mess.
Hold the lane no hurry no rush...I get there when I get there.
I carry snacks in my car...So I might start eating grapes ect. while creeping along.
I hit the stereo for soft playing music, it calms the nerves.
Then there are those thoughts of what in the world are you looking at and I start looking to find what they looking at as I am also a people watcher. My thoughts on this is sometimes there better watching than a bunch of wild monkeys in a jungle to watch.
Sometimes I make a note in the brain of a gift I want purchase and give to someone.
Humans need to slow down and learn to live and realize they do not own a highway.
It no big deal if someone else gets ahead of you. Thanks I am only a four wheeler.

 

[patriciajnsn]

TMI

You must not have read some of theother posts.Tha

I own a mountain of patience....slow to anger.....Give the road driving a healthy respect.
So, when I get in the bumper car game....here are some of my thoughts.

Why did I not choose a off day or hour or even another hwy to miss this mess.
Hold the lane no hurry no rush...I get there when I get there.
I carry snacks in my car...So I might start eating grapes ect. while creeping along.
I hit the stereo for soft playing music, it calms the nerves.
Then there are those thoughts of what in the world are you looking at and I start looking to find what they looking at as I am also a people watcher. My thoughts on this is sometimes there better watching than a bunch of wild monkeys in a jungle to watch.
Sometimes I make a note in the brain of a gift I want purchase and give to someone.
Humans need to slow down and learn to live and realize they do not own a highway.
It no big deal if someone else gets ahead of you. Thanks I am only a four wheeler.

Funny what ppl think about when they're stuck in traffic,lol

 

[(((ME)))]

You must not have read some of theother posts.Tha

Funny what ppl think about when they're stuck in traffic,lol

Sometimes I will even drive a few extra miles on a different hwy to avoid bumper to bumper traffic if I can. Some times those hwy's can turn into a circus in a heart beat....with the way people think and drive....and good common sense starts driving in the trunk of a car.

 

[patriciajnsn]

Sometimes I will even drive a few extra miles on a different hwy to avoid bumper to bumper traffic if I can. Some times those hwy's can turn into a circus in a heart beat....with the way people think and drive....and good common sense starts driving in the trunk of a car.

Can tell you're from the country,lol,

 

[(((ME)))]

Can tell you're from the country,lol,

This one probably fit me the best....But hey I can swing big city too....the best of both worlds.

 

[bumbledink]

"how the hell is the moon made of cheese"

 

[Duck]

"how the hell is the moon made of cheese"

Wisconsin has had their own secret space program for centuries.

 

[Geranimojess]

Some time back a Friend was Driving his Car through Dublin City Center...Putting a Cigarette to his Mouth it got stuck on his Lip as he was extracting it causing his Fingers to slide over the Hot Tip...in panic mode he pulled at the Cigarette causing it to fall into his Crotch which as Smokers know is not an ideal Scenario ...anyway the frenzy that followed drew the Attention of some Passengers in a Bus which had pulled up alongside his Car...completely unaware of his Audience he continued to rummage between his Legs searching for the still burning Cigarette end...finally finding the Butt {Irish Slang} or Stub of the Cigarette he noticed the Smiling Passengers looking at him...

It was only after the Traffic began to move that he realized what the Passengers must have been thinking while they were sitting in Traffic...

 

[mndriver]

Who else has farted in this seat?