As I sit here wondering how I am going to become wealthy, it occurred to me that it was not a lack of motivation, ambition, or common sense that landed me here on the road after all these years. It is simply because I lacked the right vehicle for riches beyond my wildest dreams! My solution? The artificial woman!!!!!! The business from stocking this item in truck stops would be staggering! The first thing I have to do is hire an expert in direct marketing. Since Ron, from RONCO is retired (or dead) I think I will go with the new expert on the block, Billy Mays. The infomm
ercial would go something like this:
" Hi Billy Mays here to talk about acme's new wundergurl!
How many times have you been tempted to ask your significant other on the road with you, only to realize you were afraid she might say yes? Well fear no more! Introducing the wundergurl! This is no ordinary blow up doll, it actually has a computer chip so you can download her to be a perfect partner. It actually:
Likes your Mom
Doesn't bitch
Never has that time of month
Never wants any money
But wait!!!! It also:
Is never jealous
It doesn't mind
It likes your friends
And never starts a sentence with " Seems kinda funny that...."
But......If you call in the next 30 seconds because you know we can't do this all day, we will DOUBLE THE ORDER! That's right, two WUNDERGURLS for the low price of $19.99 (just pay additional shipping and handling)
Imagine, two perfect women who will share you without wanting to rip each others hair out, and claw eachother!
But you must call RIGHT NOW!!!!!
Now, what I need from my fellow forum readers, is any extra ideas for what the wundergurl can do. After I collect all of your responses (minus the angry ones) I will patent the product and share 2% royalties for all who participate. And a weekend on a boat that searay will provide. Yes Cerb, you can come too, but you can't hit the 100 lb 21 year old.....
Please help me in my endeavor to escape from poverty!!!
ercial would go something like this:
" Hi Billy Mays here to talk about acme's new wundergurl!
How many times have you been tempted to ask your significant other on the road with you, only to realize you were afraid she might say yes? Well fear no more! Introducing the wundergurl! This is no ordinary blow up doll, it actually has a computer chip so you can download her to be a perfect partner. It actually:
Likes your Mom
Doesn't bitch
Never has that time of month
Never wants any money
But wait!!!! It also:
Is never jealous
It doesn't mind
It likes your friends
And never starts a sentence with " Seems kinda funny that...."
But......If you call in the next 30 seconds because you know we can't do this all day, we will DOUBLE THE ORDER! That's right, two WUNDERGURLS for the low price of $19.99 (just pay additional shipping and handling)
Imagine, two perfect women who will share you without wanting to rip each others hair out, and claw eachother!
But you must call RIGHT NOW!!!!!
Now, what I need from my fellow forum readers, is any extra ideas for what the wundergurl can do. After I collect all of your responses (minus the angry ones) I will patent the product and share 2% royalties for all who participate. And a weekend on a boat that searay will provide. Yes Cerb, you can come too, but you can't hit the 100 lb 21 year old.....
Please help me in my endeavor to escape from poverty!!!