It looks like it is time.

[Rigjockey]

Mom called me and said the time has come to put Dad in a home. He has dementia and had a few strokes, has progressively got worse.
Mom looked after him for like 2-3 years as this progression started.
She called me crying. Saying she had made the decision she had put off for a long time.
She feels like she has betrayed him and was worried about hurting me.

Hurting me? She has been a saint through all of this.
Not to be callous, but I really don't think he would know the difference.
Mom can visit him anytime and I told her she should have a life, In a good way.

I really miss my Dad. I am not sure what is crueler, To have him taken away suddenly or taken slowly?
The good Lord only gives you what you can handle.

 

[Tazz]

Mom called me and said the time has come to put Dad in a home. He has dementia and had a few strokes, has progressively got worse.
Mom looked after him for like 2-3 years as this progression started.
She called me crying. Saying she had made the decision she had put off for a long time.
She feels like she has betrayed him and was worried about hurting me.

Hurting me? She has been a saint through all of this.
Not to be callous, but I really don't think he would know the difference.
Mom can visit him anytime and I told her she should have a life, In a good way.

I really miss my Dad. I am not sure what is crueler, To have him taken away suddenly or taken slowly?
The good Lord only gives you what you can handle.

It is a hard decision. But each person must make it.

 

[mndriver]

Sorry to hear this. Strength to your folks to get through this.

 

[InTooDeep]

Yes it is so hard to deal with this. Went through it with my dad then mom. Good thoughts your way

 

[(((ME)))]

From cradle to grave we never know how long or hard the walk might be.
Sometimes Hard decisions have to be made to benefit a loved one care. What is best for them.
Take comfort and strength in knowing that there is TLC for them.

 

[Blood]

Know this.
Your parents had what most people aspire to.
Hey to your folks.

 

[Geranimojess]

Mom called me and said the time has come to put Dad in a home. He has dementia and had a few strokes, has progressively got worse.
Mom looked after him for like 2-3 years as this progression started.
She called me crying. Saying she had made the decision she had put off for a long time.
She feels like she has betrayed him and was worried about hurting me.

Hurting me? She has been a saint through all of this.
Not to be callous, but I really don't think he would know the difference.
Mom can visit him anytime and I told her she should have a life, In a good way.

I really miss my Dad. I am not sure what is crueler, To have him taken away suddenly or taken slowly?
The good Lord only gives you what you can handle.

No matter how prepared we are Life throws us the unexpected curved Ball and we're never ready for it... your Mam is to be commended for her loyalty and love to your Dad but she knew the time had come and it was her decision...I lost my Mam and Dad within 2 weeks of each other...it was the worst time of my life, but in time I gradually began to cope and time is a great healer...you never forget but the pain and sorrow does ease...just pay regular visits to your Mam and Dad and carry on as normal as you can...it will be hard but as you rightly said...The Lord never gives you more than you can handle...though at this time your doubting that...best of luck...

 

[Rodger]

Hang in there RJ, and lean on the Man upstairs.

 

[GAnthony]

Mom called me and said the time has come to put Dad in a home. He has dementia and had a few strokes, has progressively got worse.
Mom looked after him for like 2-3 years as this progression started.
She called me crying. Saying she had made the decision she had put off for a long time.
She feels like she has betrayed him and was worried about hurting me.

Hurting me? She has been a saint through all of this.
Not to be callous, but I really don't think he would know the difference.
Mom can visit him anytime and I told her she should have a life, In a good way.

I really miss my Dad. I am not sure what is crueler, To have him taken away suddenly or taken slowly?
The good Lord only gives you what you can handle.

i do know the feelings you are going thru. my late dad used to say "i hope god takes me away before i ever get alzheimer's, or whatever else"

he saw his dad whither away, and i got to see a couple of my relatives slip away as well. it is painful, that the person we knew is fading away and we cannot stop it.

and true, your dad will not even know where he is living. as your mother ages, she will get exhausted herself, leading to her health to decline, god knows, i seen that shit as well. it ain't worth the pain and suffering the survivor goes thru, to lose that one as well, and many times, they go BEFORE the one with alzheimer's or dementia...

i seen that shit too....

 

[Keendriver]

 

[ready to roll]

Im sure your Dad will be comfortable at his new place.

 

[Tazz]

Hey @rigjockey. This pulled through my rotation today. When the cords started I thought of you and your mom. It always makes me remember my Dad.



Be at peace with the decision. Sometimes I wish I had fought harder.

 

[Sinister]

I think at this point you need to be very close to your mom. She's gonna need it.

And make a plan.

Impure Thoughts #20: Your Loved Ones Are Gonna Die!

 

[dave350]

I feel your pain RJ. We had to put my dad in assisted living after his brain injury. Now he's deteriorating quickly and it's hard for me to deal with. I miss having conversations with him.

I'll say a prayer for all of you. You mom will need your support and your strength. Be strong for her.