Next time you are on local streets with an empty trailer, try something..
Turn off the stereo, the CB, turn down the heater fan so it's not making much noise, and put the window down a few inches.
From a red light, ease off the clutch as smoothly as you can. Raise the RPMs a little, float-shift, doing it as smoothly as you can. Go through all the gears doing it as gracefully as you can. After each shift, when you come back on the power, just give it a tiny bit until the slack comes out of the drive train, then give it just a tad bit more throttle, only giving it a tiny bit more pedal than it takes to hold a steady speed. Listen to the engine & allow yourself to "tune in" to the machinery. Don't look at the tach, just do it all by ear. If you have time/room, make your stops and speed reductions with only engine braking, ... with the jake brake OFF, til you're almost stopped, then just give it a TINY bit of brake pressure, and ease off of the pedal right before you come to a complete stop so there's no "jerk" or unloading of braking weight from the steer axle.
Once you've "tuned into" a truck like that, that big giant, powerful machine becomes an extension of your body. It's not just a truck, it's a machine. Think of all the moving parts that come together to make this machine work. If you think about it, even a million mile, plain-jane, boring old ugly megafleet-owned Freightliner has a functional beauty in it once you gain the ability to see it.
Try that, then ask yourself again if you're ready to give that up & go back to punching a time clock.