Death on the road

[Cargo Commando]

My Dad is on his deathbed but I find myself 2K miles away. He was an asshole during my first 16 years of life so I'm not sentimental about his passing. But it got me thinking about my fellow drivers and how they absorb this fact of life. Do you rush home, wait on the road, or continue on with your life just like its any other Thursday?

 

[krelithous]

for me it would depend on who it was if it's someone that treated me right and the way I should be treated then I would try to rush home to em on the other hand if they treated me like shit I would just go on with my life like it's any other Thursday. people will be judged weather there good or bad and I leave that up to god to do

 

[krelithous]

if they didn't give a rats ass about me why should I give a rats ass about them

 

[Cargo Commando]

Dunno, I guess DEATH is the common denominator between us all. As I said, I'm not really affected w/ my dads passing yet somewhat feel I need to support the living. Others need to see the body or have a memorial to grasp the concept that they are gone. Not me - if ya tell me they're dead I believe it and move on...

 

[Duck]

Not sure if he wants it public, so I'll leave his name out.

I met a guy from this forum once & right as we sat down to dinner, he got a phone call that his dad had died. He was expecting it. And since he was already dead, there was no reason to rush home. He went home anyway, but did it legally & just worked his way home delivering freight like usual.

In 2010 I got a call at 5AM telling me my best friend had died. That was only SORTA expected. He was only 30 yrs old, but in bad health. I had dispatch arrange a repower for the load I was on, then I did some highly illegal shit (was on paper logs at the time) and hauled ass to Indy (where the repower guy's load was going) and then deadheaded home & took a week off.

 

[Cargo Commando]

Dude, sounds liked you have the knack to turn lemons into lemonade!

 

[2xR]

My mom passed away while I was on a run. She was in the hospital for the umpteenth time and was not doing so good. I had a quick run to Dayton, unload, and return. I made it to Dayton and was empty, just beginning my 10 hour break when I got the call. I finished the 10, then drove back. Didn't hurt nor hinder her that I wasn't there. It was kinda nice, being alone with my thoughts of her until I made it back home.

The evening my brother died I had been called to do a run. The Hospice folks told me I should stay because they were sure he was on his way out. I declined the run and stayed with him. Hospice was correct in their assessment and I was glad I stayed with him as I was the only one there to hold his hand.

 

[Trkingpro]

I wish I could have said goodbye to my parents.
You have to make your own decisions and live with your choices.
Do what you feel is right for you but don't break any laws or hurt anybody else doing what is right for you.

 

[blackw900]

When my mom went in the hospital for the final time, she called me and asked me to get home and told me she would hang on until I got there if she could., I dropped what I was doing and deadheaded to the hospital about 500 miles without a second thought and made it to the hospital about an hour befor she passed.

I'm glad I did.

When my old man passed....I didn't bother to go home until I was done with what I was doing a few days later.
I never felt anything but relief at his passing.

When my younger brother passed, I was the one that found the body a couple of weeks later in his house and....That was that!
He was a dope fiend and a drunk and it finally killed him....Life's a bitch for some I suppose.

When my wifes father passed last year, I dropped what I was doing and went home....He was a very good man.
I will do the same for her mom when the time comes...

We all die...It's just part of life, I don't let it rent space in my head.

 

[DubbleD]

I quit working when my mother's cancer got to the point my pops couldn't help her anymore. 3 months later she passed away in our arms, in her own home, just like she wanted.

 

[Injun]

I made it to my mom's house two days before my pops passed. He was actually my step-dad, but more of a daddy to me than my own father. I was able to say my goodbyes and be there for my mom when she really needed me. It was worth it.

 

[krelithous]

I was there for my grandmother when she passed on that tore me up as she was my best friend. I watched my parents die as well my mother tore me up but the asshole that she remarried to. I figured his slow death was his punishment for what he did to us and god was giving him his payback. No when I croak I don't want no boo hooin bus at my funeral I want a keg party And everyone laughing and having a great time about my passing on cause I'll be in a better place and I won't give a shit about nothing.

 

[Fageol]

Two years ago today my daughter (at age 51) died of triple negative breast cancer. She was an RN for many years so she had no illusions about her fate. More than a year before she died, she had her kids, then 14, 12, and 10, in counseling. When she knew it would be her last couple of days, she returned to her hospital as she didn't want to die at home. Without hesitation, my employer let me off those days so I could be with her and the family. About 50 family members gathered around her (we took up two rooms and a hallway) plus more than a hundred of her fellow nurses and other hospital staff cycled through on her death watch. She died as good a death as I ever saw, much better than the liquored up guy who ran into my Pete (in my lane) exactly a month ago. We all have to meet our maker, but it's good for the dying person and especially good for family and friends to be with a loved one heading for eternity. Here's a pic of her memorial on the right, her Mom near the memorial, and her son (arms raised) and his buddies on the trampoline, and her beloved speedboat. She was the family boss. A few months ago my son-in-law and I were flying back to Girdwood (airport, the 185 was on wheels then) from Anchor Point. For the hour flight all we could talk about was how we missed her orders. It's a nice day in Eagle River and Anchorage. But I sure miss that kid.

 

[Uncle Birchy]

I don't go to funerals because THEY'RE DEAD and upon assuming room temperature they will not know the difference anyhow

I think people make way too big a deal out of it

 

[2xR]

I don't go to funerals because THEY'RE DEAD and upon assuming room temperature they will not know the difference anyhow

I think people make way too big a deal out of it

Funeral, wake, memorial... whatever it's called is not for the benefit of the DEAD. It's for the LIVING, those left behind need to grieve or celebrate the past times with the now deceased. It adds closure and makes everybody feel a bit better about an otherwise sad situation.

 

[Fageol]

Funeral, wake, memorial... whatever it's called is not for the benefit of the DEAD. It's for the LIVING, those left behind need to grieve or celebrate the past times with the now deceased. It adds closure and makes everybody feel a bit better about an otherwise sad situation.

You have it right. In the last four years I've lost my mother, a grandson, and a daughter. I don't recall that any family member cried. Friends did. Of course we were sad. But we knew that we had to be there for each other; ergo, we faced reality and got on with the events of the day and then our lives. I'm guessing that my family is hardly unique in that regard. A friend, acquaintance, or family member can do nothing for the dead person; however by the terms of the golden rule one should position himself to assist others affected by the death just as the dead person maybe had done or would do for others.

 

[Rigjockey]

My Dad is on his deathbed but I find myself 2K miles away. He was an asshole during my first 16 years of life so I'm not sentimental about his passing. But it got me thinking about my fellow drivers and how they absorb this fact of life. Do you rush home, wait on the road, or continue on with your life just like its any other Thursday?

Sorry to hear that. Being on the road is a bitch, When you get a call like that. I and my family deal with death well, Part Irish ( I want an Irish wake for myself) The dead know only one thing, It is better to be alive. quote from full metal jacket)What I got was my Dad in the hospital with a lung problem. I mashed on that governed fuel pedal, Like it made a difference. He made it out OK. It made me want to quit the road to be around.

I was told even working on a 9-5 it would not matter and I was not a doctor.