Are you a trouble...

GAnthony

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maker..?? I mean does your significant other look forward to your antics..?? if the tables are turned, is your significant other the trouble maker..?? Do either of you enjoy those times, or would you rather it all be on the straight and narrow..??

And by "trouble" I mean things like being goofy in public, maybe putting things in the shopping cart that he (or she) has to take out and give you a "dirty look"..??

Or does your significant other smack you upside your head..?? and tells you to "act your age"..??????


 
The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear 'the rules' From the female side ...Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1' on purpose!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. .

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping
 
Sometimes when my wife is in the shower, I'll fill a cup of cold water in the kitchen sink, then sneak in the bathroom and dump it over the curtain.

The results are always awesome.
 
Sometimes when my wife is in the shower, I'll fill a cup of cold water in the kitchen sink, then sneak in the bathroom and dump it over the curtain.

The results are always awesome.

My favorite was when we (my wife) were both in the bedroom, I would use my cell to call the house phone, since the phone was in the living room, she would have to get up to go answer it, when she would say hello, I would say, since your already up, get me a glass of water.
 
Sometimes when my wife is in the shower, I'll fill a cup of cold water in the kitchen sink, then sneak in the bathroom and dump it over the curtain.

The results are always awesome.

I would fear the "revenge factor"
 
My favorite was when we (my wife) were both in the bedroom, I would use my cell to call the house phone, since the phone was in the living room, she would have to get up to go answer it, when she would say hello, I would say, since your already up, get me a glass of water.

Dude I do that all the time. I'm usually watching the tube in our room and get hungry so I make a call.... to the living room.

To answer the thread, yes, I'm a sarcastic prick sometimes and yes, sometimes it comes back to me.
 
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

Yes, but Christopher Columbus never made it to the North American Continent in all the times he tried.

True fact.

Look it up.
 
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

Dude! Do you really want to use this example? Columbus was looking for a passage to India, a shorter route than Spice Trade routes in use at the time, he got lost along the way. That is why Native Americans were misidentified as Indians.
 
Mrs. countryboy walks in her sleep. I have more stories about what she gets upto in the night. We no longer sleep in the upstairs bedroom. I hide the knobs to the stove at night. I use the chain locks on the doors at night, and all car keys are kept out of her reach at night. Gun safe has a combolock! I know I'm leaving something out?
 
Mrs. countryboy walks in her sleep. I have more stories about what she gets upto in the night. We no longer sleep in the upstairs bedroom. I hide the knobs to the stove at night. I use the chain locks on the doors at night, and all car keys are kept out of her reach at night. Gun safe has a combolock! I know I'm leaving something out?

Wouldn't it be much easier to chain her to the bed?
 
I've done the cold water in the shower thing, it's one of my favorites.

As far as shopping cart stuff I have a lot more fun putting stuff in the carts of total strangers and watching the fun at the checkout. A box of condoms in a woman's cart or tampons in a guy's cart is always good for a laugh. AfroSheen in a white guy's cart is also good.

When I was a paramedic we had a lot of fun with other ambulances. If they left their rig unlocked we would get in it, turn on all the lights and sirens and run away. Ambulances have a battery switch that is turned off when we get out, so nothing happens until they get back in and turn the battery on. Then all the lights and sirens start going like crazy and really embarrass them

At the ambulance building you always had to be on guard. You'd get up in the middle of the night for a call and find your boots full of water, or the inside of your socks coated with vaseline. I discovered that tape that you can use to temporarily iron cuffs or patches on your clothes and had a great time with that. I'd iron a pants leg closed or a shirt sleeve or something like that and enjoy watching someone trying to get their clothes on.

Closing the shutoff valve from the water heater while someone was taking a shower was another favorite, as was taping the trigger on the water sprayer in the kitchen.

When I was an office weenie I would tape the disconnect button down on coworkers' phones so when they answered a call it would still keep ringing and drive them up the wall.

I'm amazed I'm still alive to be perfectly honest.
 
You would have loved the fart machine. You stick it to the bottom of a chair in someones office and when their in a meeting you just keep pushing the remote button.
I've done the cold water in the shower thing, it's one of my favorites.

As far as shopping cart stuff I have a lot more fun putting stuff in the carts of total strangers and watching the fun at the checkout. A box of condoms in a woman's cart or tampons in a guy's cart is always good for a laugh. AfroSheen in a white guy's cart is also good.

When I was a paramedic we had a lot of fun with other ambulances. If they left their rig unlocked we would get in it, turn on all the lights and sirens and run away. Ambulances have a battery switch that is turned off when we get out, so nothing happens until they get back in and turn the battery on. Then all the lights and sirens start going like crazy and really embarrass them

At the ambulance building you always had to be on guard. You'd get up in the middle of the night for a call and find your boots full of water, or the inside of your socks coated with vaseline. I discovered that tape that you can use to temporarily iron cuffs or patches on your clothes and had a great time with that. I'd iron a pants leg closed or a shirt sleeve or something like that and enjoy watching someone trying to get their clothes on.

Closing the shutoff valve from the water heater while someone was taking a shower was another favorite, as was taping the trigger on the water sprayer in the kitchen.

When I was an office weenie I would tape the disconnect button down on coworkers' phones so when they answered a call it would still keep ringing and drive them up the wall.

I'm amazed I'm still alive to be perfectly honest.
 
When I was an office weenie I would tape the disconnect button down on coworkers' phones so when they answered a call it would still keep ringing and drive them up the wall.

I'm amazed I'm still alive to be perfectly honest.

I used to take people's paperclips that were laying loose in the tray and hook them all together like that monkeys in a barrel game.

It's amazing how wound up people got over that. As if disconnecting one is heavy lifting.
 
I used to take people's paperclips that were laying loose in the tray and hook them all together like that monkeys in a barrel game.

It's amazing how wound up people got over that. As if disconnecting one is heavy lifting.

Back to the paramedic days, I had a partner who used to grab gloves out of the box between the seats and give them a good "whip-snap" to shake some of the powder off. One day I tied about a dozen of them together by the thumbs and stuck them back in the box. We jump in the rig to take off on a call and he grabs a glove and gives it his trademark snap and it was like a magician pulling a bunch of handkerchiefs out of his sleeve. A whole line of gloves came out like a weird latex bullwhip and sent powder everywhere. It was pretty funny at the time.
 
Mrs. country thought that was funny as hell!
View attachment 3954
Back to the paramedic days, I had a partner who used to grab gloves out of the box between the seats and give them a good "whip-snap" to shake some of the powder off. One day I tied about a dozen of them together by the thumbs and stuck them back in the box. We jump in the rig to take off on a call and he grabs a glove and gives it his trademark snap and it was like a magician pulling a bunch of handkerchiefs out of his sleeve. A whole line of gloves came out like a weird latex bullwhip and sent powder everywhere. It was pretty funny at the time.
View attachment 3954
 

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