Am I Drinking Testicle Cancer?

[Sinister]

I certainly hope not.

The ingredients are:

Filtered Carbonated Water
Natural Flavor
Citric Acid
Malic Acid
Potassium Benzoate (a preservative)
Aspartame
Potassium Citrate
Acesulfame Potassium

Then it says:

Phenylketonurics: Contains Phenylalanine

I know a bit about aspartame as it’s quite a disturbing chemical (thanks again Monsanto!), but what’s all this other stuff?

Am I gonna get scrotal elephantiasis? Cancer of the giblets? Grow another appendage?

As I understand it that starts out kinda impressive but gets out of hand pretty fast.

I drink about three of these bottles a week. I figure it’s still gotta be better than drinking soda pop.

Right?

 

[ironpony]

It's gonna make yer junk turn green an' fall off. Then yer gonna die. Painfully.

 

[mndriver]

Shit is no different than diet pop.

 

[Sinister]

So am I gonna get a beach ball sized goiter tomorrow?

 

[ironpony]

So am I gonna get a beach ball sized goiter tomorrow?

Next week. Tomorrow you get a foot growing out th' back 'o yer head, an' later on you'll sprout a new asshole on yer left elbow

 

[Sinister]

Good! Maybe I’ll finally be famous and can quit working.

 

[ironpony]

That's the spirit!

 

[Electric Chicken]

Yes you're drinking testicle cancer.

But it doesn't apply to you. You can't get testicle cancer without testicles.

 

[ironpony]

Yes you're drinking testicle cancer.

But it doesn't apply to you. You can't get testicle cancer without testicles.

Sure ya can. Grow a pair. Drink that stuff... they'll turn green 'n fall off.

 

[Electric Chicken]

Sure ya can. Grow a pair. Drink that stuff... they'll turn green 'n fall off.

I was talking to Sinister. I already knew yours fell off.

 

[mndriver]

So am I gonna get a beach ball sized goiter tomorrow?

Start calling you Kuato....

 

[ironpony]

I was talking to Sinister. I already knew yours fell off.

I think it's totally gross and weird that you're takin' a personal interest in my junk.

 

[dave350]

Water is the best thing to drink.

 

[Electric Chicken]

Water is the best thing to drink.

Yup. Coffee and beer have water in them.

 

[ironpony]

Water is the best thing to drink.

Fishes f*** in water.

Drink beer

 

[Sinister]

While we all wait patiently for the good doc to answer this burning question I would like to issue a public service announcement.

Whatever you do in life, wherever your travels take you, do NOT do a google image search of “scrotal elephantiasis” in an effort to make a post funny.

You will never be the same. I have seen dark, dark things.

 

[Blood]

While we all wait patiently for the good doc to answer this burning question I would like to issue a public service announcement.

Whatever you do in life, wherever your travels take you, do NOT do a google image search of “scrotal elephantiasis” in an effort to make a post funny.

You will never be the same. I have seen dark, dark things.

Now he tells me.



FUTHERM....

 

[ironpony]

Brainbleach™!

 

[DrDaliah]

hahahaha. I'm sure those chemicals are in our lunch. but yes, water is safer

 

[dave350]

water is safer

A wise man once said something similar.