Sinister
pari animositate
I'd swear the last two weeks I can smell smoke.
When I was working last week I thought it was just inside the truck and maybe this Cascadia was going to burst into flame. But I made it through the week without any such incendiary display.
Then I noticed it at home, and thought maybe one of my kids just hadn't bathed in a while. Kids do that sometimes. They just forget to bathe, or outright neglect to. It's similar to when they mysteriously and randomly forget to flush the toilet after taking a massive dump. Ah, the joys of parenting!
But now, I'm back at work again and everywhere I go, I smell smoke. Sometimes it's worse than others, but it's omnipresent. Coming west on 94 through Minnesota today I could definitely see a haze across the countryside. But to be fair, it was 90 degrees and humid today. This is the temperature at which fat people start tipping over here in the Midwest. It can be pretty stifling. It's not as bad as the humidity in other places like Florida for example, where your body parts stick to parts you didn't even know you had, or worse yet, stick to other people's parts. I've seen it happen. But the humidity in the Midwest can get kind of rough.
I thought maybe I was having a two week long stroke. That's possible, right?
At some point today I realized I'd been hearing about wildfires in California. It's nothing unusual as they happen all the time, right?
But I'd also heard these were pretty bad again this year. But media hyperbole is also nothing new.
Then I remembered there is at least one mountain range the smoke would have to travel across, as well as half a continent, and I thought there's no way in hell I'm smelling the California fires.
Then I realized that there's thing thing called the "internet" or something and I should be able to look something up on the subject.
Sure enough, I found a website. And it seems to me that very little of the United States is actually not affected.
I might just be smelling the California fires.
Thanks for spreading your stench nationwide, California. It's bad enough you splatter the country with rampant moral bankruptcy, and bombard us artillery style with your radical communist politics from the massive Big Bertha type shit cannon you call Hollywood, but now we have to breathe your filth too.
Can't you just give us produce, and shut up?
Click on the "Fire and Smoke" map on the middle-left section of the page, and witness for yourself the blue blob consuming your air.
When I was working last week I thought it was just inside the truck and maybe this Cascadia was going to burst into flame. But I made it through the week without any such incendiary display.
Then I noticed it at home, and thought maybe one of my kids just hadn't bathed in a while. Kids do that sometimes. They just forget to bathe, or outright neglect to. It's similar to when they mysteriously and randomly forget to flush the toilet after taking a massive dump. Ah, the joys of parenting!
But now, I'm back at work again and everywhere I go, I smell smoke. Sometimes it's worse than others, but it's omnipresent. Coming west on 94 through Minnesota today I could definitely see a haze across the countryside. But to be fair, it was 90 degrees and humid today. This is the temperature at which fat people start tipping over here in the Midwest. It can be pretty stifling. It's not as bad as the humidity in other places like Florida for example, where your body parts stick to parts you didn't even know you had, or worse yet, stick to other people's parts. I've seen it happen. But the humidity in the Midwest can get kind of rough.
I thought maybe I was having a two week long stroke. That's possible, right?
At some point today I realized I'd been hearing about wildfires in California. It's nothing unusual as they happen all the time, right?
But I'd also heard these were pretty bad again this year. But media hyperbole is also nothing new.
Then I remembered there is at least one mountain range the smoke would have to travel across, as well as half a continent, and I thought there's no way in hell I'm smelling the California fires.
Then I realized that there's thing thing called the "internet" or something and I should be able to look something up on the subject.
Sure enough, I found a website. And it seems to me that very little of the United States is actually not affected.
I might just be smelling the California fires.
Thanks for spreading your stench nationwide, California. It's bad enough you splatter the country with rampant moral bankruptcy, and bombard us artillery style with your radical communist politics from the massive Big Bertha type shit cannon you call Hollywood, but now we have to breathe your filth too.
Can't you just give us produce, and shut up?
Click on the "Fire and Smoke" map on the middle-left section of the page, and witness for yourself the blue blob consuming your air.
Fires redirect | AirNow.gov
www.airnow.gov